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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My husband will not sit either. When I got him to wear pull ups and I never refer to them as adult diapers, he thinks they are under wear that you can dribble in and it's okay. He looked for th opening too but soon figured out it works fine to take it out the side and he didn't complain, hope that helps, worth a try anyway…good luck
I have a question that kinda goes with this one, what happens when you father won't wear depends because it does not have the "opening" in the front to pull out is private part to urinate? I have checked some sites but cannot find any that have that type of get up and he won't wear the others because he has to take the time to pull them down. He claims he cannot urinate sitting down but only standing. Any input is helpful, thanks
Another thought: my ward wears a pullup and a liner (two actually) at all times. If he starts the day with a high-capacity liner, perhaps he could change those and leave the pullups alone unless they become wet or soiled?
Use incontinence pads inside the diaper. Catch him going to the bathroom, change the pad. My Dad is reluctant, he tells me I am being wasteful. I also cut the diapers off with sizzers I keep in the bathroom, leaving him no choice. This also makes getting a clean diaper on easier, a one leg only challenge.
Boy there are some really good ideas here, I might try the one just suggested about wearing one over the other. My husband wears them till they are full and his urine is so strong, then if I am not right with him when he removes them he might put it in the corner of the room by his side of the bed or under the bed, the worst was in the laundry hamper and I found it half way down, lucky it did not go into the washing machine. My biggest problem with them and him is, he forgets it is okay to go in them and will take his penis out the side of it and hold the end like a garden hose, sure enough it squirts like one too and when he gets over the toilet it shoots off like a hose too, needless to say bathroom clean up is a huge issue, this is what happens every night at least 4 or 5 times, I don't know how he can pee so much. And he still manages to fill the depends up too. I usually am awake and listen to how he is doing and when he comes out of the bathroom he pauses to see where he is going, that is when I say wash your hands and he turns around, turns on the tap for 2 seconds, just wets a few fingers and dries them and that's it. So I have gotten up and tried to get him to wash properly and he says but I only use my fingers…… In the beginning I thought all this was just awful but after sharing in our support group and found it only gets worse, we laugh so hard at some of the things we have to do that now I look for the humour in all this, there is no humour in cleaning the bathroom however. He can be quite funny too, I have to help put on a fresh one and have started using a medicated talc for men, I just dust the inside before he puts his legs in and it helps his itchy testies, I think that is from wearing them too long. He likes the talc and is smells nice too. There are times when we are going out and he really needs to change it and he does not want to so I have to be strict and say well I am not taking you anywhere until we get you freshened up, that always works because he likes to go out….
I forgot to mention in my earlier comment that the pull-ups we use for my mum can be torn off by tearing down each side and pulling the entire wet pants through the legs. When I am travelling anywhere with my mum her carers put two pairs of pull-ups on her so at the point when I know she needs to be changed, I simply tear off the pair closest to her skin, leaving her with a fresh pair on. Surprisingly, it's not too bulky wearing two pairs at once and it does give the opportunity to change and be clean without all the bother and strain of 'legs in and out' etc. I would also point out to your dad that by not changing regularly he is exposing himself to infection and that an IUT can be very debilitating - this might persuade him.
We have the opposite problem lately. He is obsessed with changing socks, Depends, pajamas.....he is constantly changing whether he needs it or not. We are blowing through Depends like it's nobody's business! Hard on the environment, hard on the pocket book. Just shows with dementia they need daily guidance. But like everything else...this too shall pass and he will be onto the next compulsion/obsession. :-/
I would say he does not realize how hard this is on his skin and the consequences of doing this... I think changing every two hours is a good idea. If indeed he can understand just explain this is best for him and you want to help him. It has to be somewhat humbling for all involved! take care!
The key issue for me in dealing with Mom's pull-ups is ODOR. If she stinks, we head for the bathroom.
Maybe it doesn't bother her as much, but I don't want to smell it, don't want the furniture stunk up and would hate for someone to visit and be greeting by a bad smell. And, if she were in her right mind, neither would Mom.
I'm sure she wouldn't have allowed me to remain for long in a dirty diaper 70 years ago and now it's time to return the favor. :-)
Thank you, Eyerishlass. I have often wondered if my ward would be better off with tabs, as it can take her 20 to 30 minutes to change (she refuses help). We'll stick with pullups.
There is a lot of work involved in changing a pull-up as you said. I haven't had good luck with the tab kind. I don't think they're reliable. They don't have the seal and the protection a pull-up does. A soiled pull-up is like a little bowl with the contents tucked safely inside but with the tab kind things can just go everywhere. I don't think they fit snugly enough.
Changing the pullups requires removal of trousers, shoes, and socks (at least it does for my ward) which may seem like too much work. I am wondering if tab closure products would be easier, and reduce reluctance to change.
Create a new habit. Every 2 hours tell dad matter of factly, "It's time to change your pants real quick." Does your dad wear pants with elastic waste bands? This will make the changing quicker. And I agree with the gal above me who suggested that the soiled pull-up be disposed of immediately for hygienic purposes.
Just don't give your dad a choice. Every 2 hours time to change.
Two simple suggestions - check that the action of changing the pull-up is not causing him pain. My mum finds this a strenuous activity which tires her out (even with carers to help) and it just might be that your dad wishes to avoid something similar. Secondly, check that what happens to the pull-up when it's changed doesn't cause him any psychological upset, i.e. does it get incinerated or removed from sight immediately, so he isn't reminded of his incapacity, or does it hang around somewhere. I am in the UK and my mum's carers are under strict instructions to place all clinical waste outside the house in a special bin after each visit but they often fail to do this - my job!
Obviously he can't smell it. The other possibility is kidney failure, where the urine smell is coming through the skin, and not the bladder. Desenex anti-fungal powder helps keep the urine from breaking down into ammonia.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My biggest problem with them and him is, he forgets it is okay to go in them and will take his penis out the side of it and hold the end like a garden hose, sure enough it squirts like one too and when he gets over the toilet it shoots off like a hose too, needless to say bathroom clean up is a huge issue, this is what happens every night at least 4 or 5 times, I don't know how he can pee so much. And he still manages to fill the depends up too. I usually am awake and listen to how he is doing and when he comes out of the bathroom he pauses to see where he is going, that is when I say wash your hands and he turns around, turns on the tap for 2 seconds, just wets a few fingers and dries them and that's it. So I have gotten up and tried to get him to wash properly and he says but I only use my fingers……
In the beginning I thought all this was just awful but after sharing in our support group and found it only gets worse, we laugh so hard at some of the things we have to do that now I look for the humour in all this, there is no humour in cleaning the bathroom however. He can be quite funny too, I have to help put on a fresh one and have started using a medicated talc for men, I just dust the inside before he puts his legs in and it helps his itchy testies, I think that is from wearing them too long. He likes the talc and is smells nice too.
There are times when we are going out and he really needs to change it and he does not want to so I have to be strict and say well I am not taking you anywhere until we get you freshened up, that always works because he likes to go out….
Maybe it doesn't bother her as much, but I don't want to smell it, don't want the furniture stunk up and would hate for someone to visit and be greeting by a bad smell. And, if she were in her right mind, neither would Mom.
I'm sure she wouldn't have allowed me to remain for long in a dirty diaper 70 years ago and now it's time to return the favor. :-)
Just don't give your dad a choice. Every 2 hours time to change.