I live far from them. I came in for the weekend to visit my parents and when I arrived I was shocked by my Mother's appearance. She's lost 45 pounds. She can barely walk and I had to assist her to clean herself when she was on the toilet! My Dad says she's fine and just needs a shot for hip arthritis. It appears that she's had a stroke. My Dad is 80 and surely he's in denial since my Mother takes care of him. He's basically ignoring he symptoms and how badly she's getting. I live in a different state, far away. What steps can I take to make sure my Mother is getting proper medical care. Apparently her sisters that live close by have been trying to get my Dad to let them help but he refuses stating that she's fine.
Mom has had a stroke, you think? A trip to the ER might be in order. Is she dehydrated? Malnourished? I think I'd be inclined to treat this as an emergency, and not worry too much about dad's ruffled feathers.
My parents were doing the same thing. My Mom was asking Dad to fix things, climbing ladders, etc. but at 94 he shouldn't be doing that. Dad thought Mom [97] was ok because she was still getting him meals, cleaning and laundry.
Now what to do. I tried to bring in paid caregivers and Mom asked them to leave. WorriedforMom, would your Mom accept outsiders to help her? Or would your Dad be the roadblock since he wouldn't let her sisters help?
Sadly we have to wait for a serious medical issue to be a wake up call for our parents, and sometimes even that doesn't work. They still won't start packing for independent living or assisted living.