I live with and care for mom but have "no say". She's not getting the care she needs. I've taken care of mom since 1995 when dad died and handled all her affairs until January 2014 when my sister snatched shared POA for herself under dubious circumstances. Mom has dementia, is deaf and refuses to use her hearing aid, has always had someone taking care of things for her (either dad or me), and has no idea what the lawyer asked her to sign. Since then, my sister makes sure mom only sees the 2 doctors that write prescriptions for her; all her other providers were dropped, which means all the other medical care developed over 20 years was stopped. She developed 3 nasty bedsores from not being able to walk after her arthritis treatments were stopped. She gets no socialization -- she is a prisoner in her own home. I "have no say", even though I provide 24/7 care. We have part-time home health workers helping with meals, showers, etc, but that's all the help I get. Mom has plenty of resources and is financially well-off, but my sister refuses to spend any of mom's money on anything that isn't "forced" upon her to pay. We can't even get basics like gloves for changing her dressings and there is never enough food in the house. After 8 years of not working and getting 0 compensation for the care I provide, my own financial resources are quickly drying up, so I can't afford this situation much longer either. Who can help get us out of this mess? Any advice on who I can contact for help? I've already asked for help from the home health agency, but because I don't have POA and my sister hired them, they refuse to help. Should I just go file an elder abuse/neglect report with the police, contact APS, or what? Trying to cope with mom's rapidly declining condition is hard enough, but the added burden of the greedy, uncaring sister makes this impossible. My other 2 siblings don't seem to care at all.
No gloves? Wash your hands before and after. Twenty years ago nobody wore gloves unless they were in surgery.
Your sister probably thinks your room & board is fair enough. NOT TRUE. You need to write down the hours of actual care, multiply that by $10 and from that total, deduct half the rent/utilities/groceries. Chances are she will still owe you a nice bucket of change.