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Mlldrednewark has a real good suggestion; go to a grief/caregiver group. Caregiveing is very difficult for others, who have never done it, understand. I think the responsibility and isolation they see scares them and they shy away. But, the point is, if might benefit you to find a new group of friends who have experienced caregiving. They will understand where you are and possibly why you have gotten to this point. There is wisdom and surprising resources in a caregivers group. Take advantage of it.
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Sometimes we become so immersed in our caregiving we tend not to lean on those that want to help . Maybe they feel as though you shut them out. It happens all the time maybe you need a new set of friends . Go to a grief session they can help a lot.
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Hm. This is odd.

Yes, I'd agree that you would expect your best friend and your boyfriend to be the most understanding of your feelings. Or at least the most interested in trying to understand them. So what's going on? Is the lack of contact with your best friend mainly your doing, or hers/his, or a bit of both? How were things going with your BF before that abrupt rift?

It sounds as though there is some sort of "Do Not Disturb" sign hanging round your neck. How it got there, quite possibly without your even being aware of it..?Maybe if we can think about that question, the answers to it might show a way forward?
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