He is nearly impossible to be with. My Father is dispicable & always has been. He is a field of negative energy. He swears, hits, and makes life miserable for anyone around him. The Dr put him on resperdol which is meant to quell this behavior, but it knocks him out. This pill helps, but I am wondering about maybe an antidepressant or some such thing. He & my poor Mother live next door to me and I am his major caretaker. Every time I walk into the house, I get sick to my stomach because he scares me & always has.I need help. Thank you so much
Don't feel guilty that you don't want to spend more time around your father. Being in that negative energy field is so tiring. My mother has one of those fields. She usually isn't mean, but she complains a lot or talks about all the people from her childhood, e.g. her cousins with strange names. Spending an hour with her wears me out like a day of digging ditches. Strange how it can have such a big effect. My answer is that I do the things that need to be done, but when I feel I'm being drained, I find something else I have to do. Then I disappear. I can feel guilty, but I don't owe my mental health to anyone.
Has he been actually diagnosed with dementia? Why can't he be admitted to a psychiatric hospital to be evaluated and treated? Is he a threat to himself or others? There are procedures for that. You can consult with an attorney or law enforcement officer for your options.
Ignoring violent or threatening behavior can be very risky, even if it is due to dementia. Not long ago something very tragic happened in my community when a husband/father who had dementia was not properly addressed in the home. He killed his wife and daughter. He was arrested, despite his condition, but, it's not clear that he even knows what he did. You can't play around with this type of situation. Safety first, imo. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.