Dad has dementia, no short term memory. What if mom dies first? Dads 85 mom is 84. I'm sure folks have dealt with this issue. Will I have to remind him every day, every hour that mom is gone? Will we keep repeating his grief process? Kinda morbid question, but the situation is likely for us. Any thoughts?
What if you die before both of them?
I haven't had to remind him. That's now. In the future, who knows?
Right now, it seems the biggest issue is that he always assumed he'd go first. I guess you could say this screwed up his plans. I know he feels a little ... what? Cheated? He's fighting it and getting used to the idea of life without Mom, but his decline has steepened a bit.
Admittedly, this is something I hadn't thought of. The closest to this I've seen happen in my household was when Mom (in delirium) kept asking me where _her_ mom was. I think I said something vague like, "she's waiting for you, but she says not to hurry on her account." That was less than a week before Mom died.
So how do I answer if Dad asks later? Dogged if I know.
Tough business, this caregiving thing.