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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mother would not follow my safety advice at home, and she does not listen to the nurses in the NH either. She has always been very independent minded and feisty - you can't tell her what to do or not do. With the dementia, she will resist following your advice, but even when she momentarily agrees and says "I'll try", she will forget 5 minutes later and continue whatever unsafe habit you are trying to make her change for her own good. Case in point: my Mom had a habit of lying diagonally on the bed or the sofa - before she went into the NH she had actually given up the bed and slept on the sofa for about a year. She had had a left hip replacement several years prior, with continuing osteoporosis and osteopenia (thinning bone). She insisted on laying diagonally on the sofa with left leg at the very edge. I would encourage her to lay straight, or the opposite way, to no avail. She was comfortable her way and you could not convince her otherwise. I would move the coffee table up against the sofa, in case she shifted in her sleep the leg would be on the table. Minute I turn around, she pushes the table away from the sofa. I gave it to her straight and warned her that one day would be the last fall (she had slipped off several times already) and she would end up in the hospital and be crippled. In one ear and out the other! Of course that exact scenario happened, which is how she ended up in the NH. She couldn't go home because she needed 24/7 care due to her dementia, and I could not live with her or sleep over every night. My own physical and mental health was already at crisis stage. She is not supposed to put her full weight on her legs, and is allowed to use the walker a few hours a day to support her weight (she's not heavy), or use the wheel chair. The walker is in her closet and she uses the wheelchair all day to "walk" (sits on the EDGE of the chair-no surprise there- and paddles with her feet). Some things are just beyond our control.
If she's like my Dad, she expects to get hurt and figures the reward is worth the pain. In that case, guilt sometimes works. "I know you don't mind being in a coma for a month, but think how worried I'll be" ..... nah, on second thought, I don't think that will work. ferris advice is best... take all precautions.... know that she will push the envelope and be ready for it. what else can you do? I don't think we know enough to say much more than that. Feel free to be a little more specific about her situation. Lots of caring folks on here, someone's probably experienced it, whatever it is.
I agree with lildeb - your profile says your mother is in a nursing home, or do you mean when you visit or bring her home with you she won't listen? It is difficult to know exactly what you mean, but seniors with and without memory loss are stubborn and do not take kindly to warnings from adult children with whom they have changed their diapers! If she is at your home, install railings, remove rugs, make sure halls and dark rooms are well-lit with LED lights (the kind you plug into a socket), and encourage her to be safe because you love her and want her well. Accidents are going to happen and you cannot be with her every second of every day. I'm a nurse, and I know how to keep my husband safe, but one of the pets could be in the way, he not see them and trip. I can't watch him all the time nor can you watch her. Best wishes.
There is not always someone they WILL listen to.Mine lives with my family & will not listen at all.But she has dementia.Does yours have it as well? I just tell her what she needs to do,anfd I really have no control over her actually doing it,lol.I took her to the doctors,she ran away while I was in the hall,(even caretakers have to pee) she did get seen after 3 of us corraled her.good luck,and find help quickly.
I went through this with Mom for a long time. Unfortunately it took a few times of her actually hurting herself to understand and to trust my judgement over her own. Just keep explaining why and not just tell her what or what not, she can do. Patience and repetition. Good luck!
I'm confused for your profile states that she lives at a NH. Are they not keeping an eye on her for her own safety? If u r taking her home with you n worried about certain safety issues then, like Nancy mention above,"Find someone they will listen to." Try to imagine you in her place n your grown children r trying to tell u what is best. Or get her to see if she can come up with ways for safety ideas if possible. That way she will feel like she is involved n might be willing to accept the help. Good luck.
Find someone that she WILL listen to. Sometimes having one of the "kids" tell their mom or dad what to do won't work, even though they're grown adults.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.