Last year my father suffered a stroke. Thankfully he is still able to talk, read and feed himself sometimes. My parents moved in with my sister and her family and they all care for my father. I live close by and visit regularly. They do not often ask me to help becauae I am dealing with the decline of my husband's health. However, my mother has asked me to sit with dad while she goes out for a break. I want so much to help but I am having great difficulty with the thought of taking care of his bathroom needs. I feel like such a bad daughter for it even being a problem for me. I am not close to my dad and his Alzheimer's (mild at the moment) makes him agressive. I want to get over this so I can help more in the future.
My greater concern is that you say that he is becoming aggressive. Is his doctor aware of this? How is your mom coping with this; she must not be a spring chicken herself and you want to be sure that if she's the main caregiver, she has lots of respite built into her schedule, not just you coming over once in a while. Time of get a caregiving agency in for a couple of hours a week and perhaps also time to start looking at facilities. This awful disease takes you for a roller coaster ride; things change in a day sometimes, and it is best to be prepared long in advance of when you think you're going to need the next level of care for your dad. Good luck and let us know how this is going.