She had been living at home with part time caregivers, but a series of falls and becoming disoriented/confused along with her vision completely dwindling. Had me and my sister traveling to get her. She has 3 sisters and a son close by but none of them want to deal with her. Our plan had been to spend down her money and join Medicaid and have the option of home health care waivers. But then questions like what if Medicaid decides it's less money to put her in nursing home, because IMO she needs a live in companion, 24/7 and her finances are limited. Then what? They take her home and stick her somewhere? Her short term memory is going and being blind, she can't see it to remember anything. But she knows who her sisters and children are. My sister and brother have POA, but all 3 of us live in different states. It's a logistic nightmare trying to figure out what to do with her. And her being difficult, controlling and unwilling to work with us doesn't help. She is staying with me now because my other 2 siblings have put their foot down and said no, she can't come here because it just doesn't work. My sister had her last year and dealt with mom having a pace maker put in. My sister ended up having a mild stroke. Mom will not willingly go into assisted living and says we should be dutiful children and take care of her because she took care of us, but I'm going nuts just after 2 months. Help!
You're going nuts and you sister has had a stroke. If your mom needs 24/7 care it's probably time to place her in a nursing home because Medicaid won't pay for 24/7 care. They will pay for a nursing home.
Your mom says you all should care for her since she took care of you. When she had children was she in the same state as her children so she could care for them? Were her children blind with the onset of dementia? Did you kids refuse her help? As you kids got older you became more independent everyday. Your mom is growing more dependent everyday. There's a big difference. I raised a daughter and I cared for my dad. Raising my daughter for 18 years as a single parent for most of those years was much easier than caring for my aging father for 6 years.
There might be national blind societies that can offer some help in terms of acceptance of blindness as well as coping mechanisms.