How to deal with a partner that is developing narcissism and possibly dementia mid 50’s? Anyone else dealing with this?
For the one dealing with relatives with narcissism and dementia or narcissism and bipolarity is quite hard to go throw the nastiness and destructiveness of these illnesses but what about if the partner has nobody else, no other relatives. How to better cope? The best solution for many people is throw them in institutions or let them alone waiting to self destruct but when you care about them that’s no an easy decision. At the end I am aware I need to protect my sanity and well-being too. Any thought?
One, married to my best friend until she divorced him. Interestingly, she too felt a responsibility to help him all she could. Of course, he was the father of their two children, so she hated to see him disappear down the rabbit hole for their sakes. She was able to get him on SS disability after they divorced. She also ended up paying him alimony for six years because of his disability. Right now, as far as she knows, he is homeless, living in shelters in Miami. Whether or not he's on his meds is anyone's guess.
The other was my aunt. She has since passed away. Divorced her husband. Spent all their money. Went into heavy debt. It took a family intervention to get her into treatment. And she, too, stopped taking her medications regularly. And off she'd go "sailing" again. Eventually, she stabilized though. And lived a relatively happy life. She remarried a man who made certain she kept on her meds.
You can't fix him. You already know that. He's got a sickness we don't have a cure for and don't know what causes it. Since these people are generally destructive to those around them, I'd advise you to keep him at arm's length and respond only when he initiates contact. And THEN only to send him in the right direction for help.
Life isn't fair. Not by a long shot.
Just wait for him to ask for help, or wind up where he has no choice but to get help because some triggering event has occurred that requires him to change his lifestyle. You can only do what you can do...he has to want to change and get help and it sounds like he's not there yet. I'd also limit contact with him, so that he doesn't pull you down mentally to the edge again. Hugs to you, you're obviously a very caring person.
He has developed symptoms of bipolar, narcissism, personality disorder though. I was married with him for 7 years believe me too long. I tried to help but found myself at the edge of my own sanity as he lost his job, spent all his money away, let a load of bills, and the narcissism and abuse was increasing so I had to leave.
His mother has dementia and narcissism and is in a care home (as reference, she totally has lost her mind). She is the ‘only’ relative he has alive.
I care and love the guy much but honestly don’t know how to help, we live apart. He holds a basic job now after 3 years out of work due to depression, bipolarity, personality disorder. He self medicated those 3 years with marihuana which made it worse. I see sometimes her mother and is like carbon copy of his behaviour..i ask myself if perhaps he is in an early stage developing dementia too. He is working and that is positive but the money is all wasted away, the person is 24/7 in bad mood and I understand is an illness, a very complex one. I guess I write to kind of get any moral support or light of how to assist. I don’t live with him for the reason explained and had to divorce before the debts he had affected me but I care for the guy and don’t want to see him self destroying. Sometimes the narcissism is severe so he is nasty and refuse medicine or doctors etc. I know too is the illness , he has a good heart and at the end I don’t think nobody ask this kind of illnesses to happen.
In my opinion, we need more information. Who is this person to you? Does he/she work? Has the person been diagnosed? What are the behaviors you're referring to?