I am one of 3 children my Mom has vascular dementia I am the only one currently that seems to do her shopping, washing, cleaning etc. However my brother came to visit me the other day and mentioned that my mom's stairs needed vacuuming! My other siblings seem to leave everything to me. When he mentioned the stairs I did say that I am only one person and that I work fulltime and am also a Mom but that just seemed to make him angry how do I deal with this?
Have you asked any of your siblings for help? Be specific. Such as: "Mom has a Dr.'s appointment on Tues. Can you take her so I can get some things done around my own house?"
If mom has vascular dementia, the time when she can live alone is fast drawing to a close. Does one of you have POA? Get it done if it's not too late.
Did you talk with your brother about why he was angry? Maybe he wants to visit with mom and not do housework. Mom's funds, or Medicaid need to be used for housekeeping tasks and her care if you want to keep her at home.
Then get a notebook and start journaling your requests and the given refusals and responses. Chronicle every trip to the store or doctor and the gas spent and time spent. THEN the next time a prima donna sibling criticises anything.....hand 'em the book. We can only dream, right? Have a good day!!