My mother is very angry with me right now. When I was out of the room earlier, she called her doctor to make an appointment. I saw her on the phone and asked who she was calling. She told me. I told her that I was not going to take her to the doctor. She said she would all a cab, and I told her that was up to her. She hung up without making the appointment.
My mother goes to the doctor a lot. For the last three months, we've gone about 4 times a week. Three of the appointments were for radiation for a skin cancer. The other is always for something that was not needed. She just calls and makes an appointment when I'm not looking.
Today she said her nose was infected terribly and she needed to get it seen about. The radiation was done on her nose, so of course it is sore. She has been blowing so hard and so often that she has probably irritated the skin inside. I get her to stop, telling her she is hurting herself, but when I'm not there, she starts again. Knowing her like I do, I believe there is a good chance it is self abuse.
She has history of hypochondria. Her PCP doesn't want to see her anymore because of it. It goes a bit deeper, though. Sometimes when she has a symptom, I'll tell her not to do something, which only makes her do it more. I am starting to wonder if I am dealing with Munchausen Syndrome or an addiction to doctors. She feels her doctors have a special bond with her. She tells them she loves them. She even told the radiologist the other day that she loved him. It was an awkward moment.
Our last appointment with a doctor (gynecologist) was on Thursday morning. He didn't find anything wrong, but prescribed an expensive cream. Thursday and Friday were not good days here, and I wondered if she was depressed because all the radiation and doctor appointments were over. Thursday or Friday she talked to me about calling to get her a new PCP, but I couldn't make myself do it. I was so tired of going to doctors that I didn't want to think about them. Today we're going through it again. I can't keep taking her to frivolous appointments. It isn't fair to me or taxpayers. To tell the truth, I have no idea what to do. I don't know why we always have to have a one-way war going on in this house.
Oh yes, she thought all the doctors adored her and she also loved them. She was a retired nurse. I finally told her to get a grip. They're running a business not a lonely hearts club.
JesseBelle, I think some behaviors can be controlled and some really are effected by extreme chemical reactions in the brain. This is a psychological/ maybe nutritional/ maybe wrong or too many meds. Or not enough! Poor little thing:( xo
This evening at dinner, she started talking symptoms again. I am so tired of hearing her talk about symptoms. I told her the only thing that she had wrong was diabetes and high blood pressure. She won't accept that. She knows her brain is not working right, but we don't talk about that.
I realized today that all this is having a strong effect on me. When I went out today I was in a fog. I knew it was the isolation and constant stress that caused it. I don't know how anyone goes through this for years without going mental themselves.
I is so frustrating to spend life doing so much for someone, but have them be ragging on you for not doing more. We can do five things, then say no to doing the sixth, only to be met with "You never want to do anything for me" and anger. It is most discouraging. I don't expect it, but it would be nice to hear an occasional thank you, instead of getting a list of more things to do.
The paradox of this is why older people who say they want to die spend so much time fighting symptoms that younger people see as trivial. My mother is totally mentally blocked when it comes to talking to her. It is like she has a wall built around her mind that no one can penetrate. This is not a new thing. She has been this way since I've known her. I know that therapy wouldn't work on her.