Almost 3 weeks with my narcissistic mother in my home.
The movers still have not given her any clue as to when they will bring her furniture.
I have told her we have enough furniture to get her moved into her new place until her things arrive, but she cried uncontrollably. Upset because I am trying to get rid of her.
In the meantime, she is making me crazy!! Complains about everything. Tells me how to deal with every aspect of my life. Hands out backhanded compliments like "your hair looks better today than it did yesterday ."
I have been trying the "grey rock " approach. It does kinda shut her down, but I am so wound up from keeping my mouth shut that I can't sleep!
The movers called and will be here tomorrow!!
Praise the Lord and pass the potatoes!!😁
If you let her continue to manipulate you, things will never get better. Just tell her what you are going to do, and do it. My mother said the same thing, we went ahead and now she is in AL and happy!
They pull every card out of the hat to get what they want. Be strong and good luck,
When someone is wording they don’t need you to participate, and may not even expect interaction. Smile, nod, frown, and ignore.
The “crying” thing? You have described it as “uncontrollable”. Then stop wasting YOUR energy looking for a way to control it. If that’s what she’s choosing as a substitute for wording, write on a 3 X 5 card “We can talk when you stop crying”, hand it to her, AND LEAVE THE ROOM.
ARE you “trying to get rid of her”? I certainly would be. I would want her to be SAFE, monitored for self care and schedules, respected for who and what she is, and away from ME.
Presumably you’ve lived a healthy, independent life before she re-entered your life space. Through the stress and the changed burden of having responsibility for her, you’ve begun listening to comments that come from her damaged perception of you and your shared relationship.
Paying attention to her wording is costing YOU and not benefiting her. You can stop what you’re doing, and she really can’t stop what she’s doing.
So for survival, stop.
Great advice! Now that she's up here I will be with her for Doctors appointments.
She'll be upset, but I will definitely bring it up.
Thanks!