My aunt who is 63 lived with myself and my husband. We cook for her, take care of her finances and all her shopping and anything else she needs. We have let her stay with us for the last 11 years. The thing about her is she's mentally disabled, not with a condition, but her IQ is only 63, she lacks common sense and some cognative ability. I don't know why, but she writes down everything, when we water the plants, what time I get home from, how many times a day I let the dog out to use the bathroom, etc. Well she also takes personal notes in these notbooks, and I have come to find out that she refers to my husband as the fat lazy a**hole (sorry for the language) and I am the pregnant b*tch (I'm 36 weeks pregnant) Her and my husband don't see eye to eye, but he always makes sure she's taken care of and is generally very nice to her. I don't really appreciate her calling us names after all we've done for her, and especially calling him a lazy ass hole, he works construction and only gets about 4 hours sleep a night, I think he's entitled to some tv time. I am in no condition to confront her for a screaming match as I don't really need to go into early labor, I'm not sure how to confront her on this, especially as she has been caught in the past calling my husband names. It's petty and unfounded and she needs to realize that he's not an ass hole to her, but she just will not listen. What should I do? Any ideas would be gratefully appreciated, Thank you in advance- Samantha
P.S. Did you consider writing a thoughtful but honest comment in her journal? It may get your point across to her without a confrontation. You don't even have to sign it. Just a thought.
On the other hand, when sis moved to a group home, she learned manners and rules and proper social behavior. Medicaid covers all the costs and she has a very generous PNA allowance.
She is not good around babies, hates diapers and can't stand hearing babies cry. She would start to yell and cry herself. We NEVER left her alone with a child.
I think that you really cannot take her lack of appreciation personally. I really do not know much about behavior of persons with low IQs, but she probably isn't really capable of sound reasoning. Hugs to you both. This more about her disabilities than it is about you.
You are now starting a new chapter in your family life. You and your husband will have a baby to look after, new responsibilities, and a whole new set of challenges and rewards. I think it is a perfectly reasonable time for changes in your responsibilities to your aunt. Find her a good care setting, where she will have other people to interact with and activities to participate in, and where they understand her special needs. Do not abandon her, please. Visit. Bring the baby to see her. Go on family picnics and outings. Try not to punish her for her unkind thoughts. But move forward building your own family.
Sounds like your Aunt would be better off in a group home where she would be around a peer group. Check with your local county government to see if anything is available in your area... chances are Medicaid would help with the payment.
Evict if necessary, and group home.
I'll ask a question: what will you choose: your husband and family or your aunt?