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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I think this is very common. Even as an adult dealing with an elderly parent it can become overwhelming and exhausting. I think my mother is a narcissist and possibly bi polar. As a sensitive child this has been hard to cope with. For myself, I wish I was better at setting boundaries and seeking out supports for myself. I needed to talk to a professional. Please know you are not alone. And there are many wonderful threads on the forum.
In answer to your question, I was raised by a personality-disordered mother. She's still going strong at 91 and was diagnosed with dementia last year, which has exponentially worsened her personality quirks. Her conduct for many years includes cold, withholding behavior, verbal, physical, and emotional abuse, raging, lack of empathy, self-absorption, total inflexibility (my way or the highway attitude), enjoyment of other people's pain (usually inflicted by herself), obsessive behaviors and paranoia. I'm not a doctor and can only guess, but she fits the profile of narcissist, and that may only be the tip of the iceberg.
The fallout to her family is far-reaching. Among us we have severe depression (including bipolar), anxiety issues, underachievement, depersonalization, alcoholism, and self-defeating behaviors, to name but a few, particularly among those of us with the closest contact. I'll allow that many of these problems would have developed anyway, but after watching it all unfold over the years, I think Mom's maladaptive behaviors towards us have played a part.
This kind of conduct cannot be changed. It's as much a part of those afflicted as the color of their hair. Dye will conceal it for awhile but it always grows back to its true color, whatever that is.
We can only change ourselves and how we react to these personality disorders. This site has wonderful discussions on this topic. I would suggest doing a word search, and you'll be amazed at the stories you'll find of how others dealt or are dealing with the same issues you're experiencing. Wishing you success!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think this is very common. Even as an adult dealing with an elderly parent it can become overwhelming and exhausting. I think my mother is a narcissist and possibly bi polar. As a sensitive child this has been hard to cope with. For myself, I wish I was better at setting boundaries and seeking out supports for myself. I needed to talk to a professional. Please know you are not alone. And there are many wonderful threads on the forum.
In answer to your question, I was raised by a personality-disordered mother. She's still going strong at 91 and was diagnosed with dementia last year, which has exponentially worsened her personality quirks. Her conduct for many years includes cold, withholding behavior, verbal, physical, and emotional abuse, raging, lack of empathy, self-absorption, total inflexibility (my way or the highway attitude), enjoyment of other people's pain (usually inflicted by herself), obsessive behaviors and paranoia. I'm not a doctor and can only guess, but she fits the profile of narcissist, and that may only be the tip of the iceberg.
The fallout to her family is far-reaching. Among us we have severe depression (including bipolar), anxiety issues, underachievement, depersonalization, alcoholism, and self-defeating behaviors, to name but a few, particularly among those of us with the closest contact. I'll allow that many of these problems would have developed anyway, but after watching it all unfold over the years, I think Mom's maladaptive behaviors towards us have played a part.
This kind of conduct cannot be changed. It's as much a part of those afflicted as the color of their hair. Dye will conceal it for awhile but it always grows back to its true color, whatever that is.
We can only change ourselves and how we react to these personality disorders. This site has wonderful discussions on this topic. I would suggest doing a word search, and you'll be amazed at the stories you'll find of how others dealt or are dealing with the same issues you're experiencing. Wishing you success!