Patient was becoming aggressive and escalated much faster than normal. Caretaker (wife) attempted to leave the area and tripped hitting her arm. When caretaker sought medical attention, the police were called. The wife asked that they simply leave him alone and they will handle him once he calmed down. That he was no threat to himself and no one else was in the house. Despite being told he was ill and on heavy medications they chose to arrest him for felony domestic abuse. They then jailed him for 5 days without his meds. With no family in the area he is now in a motel with his seizure dog under a no contact order. We were just wondering is this sort of thing common? We are finding it hard to believe that this can happen. He did scream threats at her but which of us hasn't had that happen? That alone is a felony harassment charge. Because she had a mark on her elbow from where she hit the wall, that brought a felony assault charge. A 70 year old man is facing 6 years in prison. It is questionable if he has 6 years left on the planet. We are simply horrified at the thought that growing old and sick can be a crime.
Fortunately my parents have lived in the same rural area since the late 1980s and the deputy SAW the situation. He asked me nicely to come see what my parents need to settle down.
But I can really see where in a city setting where the police don’t know everyone they could very well make cruel mistakes. It’s scary. If the entire county where my parents live didn’t know that my parents DO NOT have fist fights I might have had to bail dad out.
Now mom’s gotten the care she needed and is happy in assisted living. She has dementia and needed some meds to calm and cheer her!
Your story is truly sad.
my wife in the past four years has been Baker Acted 5 times. However I went through hell in order to get it done. The best way is to contact his PCP doctor have the doctor write out the order for Baker Act that way they can take care of the problem for you.
There were time I had to call the police for his physical assaults. His PCP was & is totally aware of it all. No kind of intervention did I find helpful. I am a trained medical professional & carry a license.
I believe it is a personal decision. GOD'S SPEED....
I had an elderly aunt and uncle who lived alone; he had dementia. He turned out that he was beating her black and blue to get the house keys from her, because he liked to go out and wander along the highway. She died of a heart attack shortly after he was placed in Memory Care. Would have been better if someone had figured this out. There is no doubt that the stress of caring for him and keeping this "secret" from her children and church family was a contributing factor in her death.
Most women would rather not call attention to the fact that they are being beaten. They assume that somehow, it's their own fault. Usually the abuser, demented or not, is telling the victim just that.
Since this is a progressive disease your friend DOES need to come up with a long-term solution for her husband though.
In defense of the The problem with domestic abuse is that MOST of the time the situation needs a victim willing to cover for the abuser, which looks pretty much identical to someone explaining dementia.
That's why it's so important to ensure that the dementia patient is protected. They could get hurt trying to hurt someone else. It's one reason that aggressive and unpredictable dementia patients are at risk when cared for in the home. They can turn on a caretaker and get hurt themselves by police.