Depression and loss of independence; What can I do to improve Dad's quality of life?
My father is in memory care and his basic needs are being taken care of. They help him dress, bathe, get meals, dispense his medication. Between these, they do not initiate activity and he is incapable of initiating activity. He has a short attention span. Reading has become more difficult. He doesn't appear to be interested in music. Doesn't want to play games or do crafts. Can't always figure out how to use the phone. Has the TV on all the time but can't figure out how to change the channels. Unsure of balance, so he sits a lot, sleeps a lot. I visit daily and there is a PCA that comes in for evenings to keep him company during sundown so he doesn't go to bed at 5 pm. We are the only visitors. What can I do to improve his quality of life? We do run through PT exercises with him but he often doesn't want to and we don't push. He is 92 and depressed. It is difficult to take him out of the building by myself, especially in the winter. We live in a northern climate and he doesn't like the cold/short days.
4 Answers
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My LO takes very small doses of two antidepressants, I think maybe Celexa and Buspar but that might be incorrect, but my point is, it makes a difference.
Was he a very active hobbyist in his younger life? An active reader, a follower of politics, a hobby cook? A gardener? Could he listen to books on tape or audio novels?
I seem to think you’re suggesting that he’s depressed because he’s inactive, is that so? My mother, who passed away at the age of 95 after 5 1/2 years in residential care, never had a hobby, couldn’t follow politics or sports on TV, didn’t like most kinds of music and lived her last many years solely for her family.
Ultimately, she made the NH “her family”, kibbitzed with them, ate their lunches, enjoyed their company, etc. It took her awhile, but she loved them and they came to love her. And that interaction became important to her.
Has he been in the residence long enough to have set some roots? Some residents adjust much more quickly than others, I notice.
Is he able to verbalize his feelings about depression, not being more active, or anything?
Is there any sort of activity program available on-site? My 92 yo LO sleeps a lot of the time and says she likes to do that. She rarely if ever indulges in any of the activities available. It’s very difficult to encourage someone who doesn’t want to do anything to become more active. SHE thinks her “quality of life” is OK. She worked all her life in a hard, intense, nerve wracking job, so maybe she’s saying what she really means.