My step father who always bullied me is now care taker for my Mom (in hospice at home) She always used me through out my life. I took care of them for last 20 mos. and my weight is up - BP up - migraines increased. He doesn't respect my boundaries with the cat in their house that I'm allergic to and the lifting weight restrictions due to my back surgery 5 years ago. I'm not wired to handle their daily emergencies and needs. He has started becoming more hostile and demanding as well. I keep having flash backs of him & her beating me & insulting me. 5 other siblings have stopped contact with them. I know a talk with him will not result in any change, I've tried. The Hospice social worker agreed detaching would be best for my health. Now these 2 parents are calling me 2-3x / day because I don't pick up. I've become depressed with this situation that I can not handle. Comments?
" The Hospice social worker agreed detaching would be best for my health."
I am so gladl the hospice SW has told you to detach. Listen to him/her!!!
What is it that you are doing for your mother and stepfather? Are you there for hours each day? Are there other caregivers?
Or do you see yourself continuing on as you have been, despite the bad effects on your health (weight up, BP up, increased migraines)?
I bet you are someone who is conflict-avoidant, and find it very hard to stand up to people, especially people who have abused you in the past. Am I right?
Are you in contact with your siblings?
Thats a classic line "doctor said you had to do this". Total rubbish. Dad has said that me. He even told the hospital last time he had an Op that I'd offered to move in for a week when he got home so he told me "doctor said you'll need to move in". Found out the truth when I spoke to the doctor.