Does anyone feel like they're developing dementia since caring for a parent with dementia??

Caring for an elderly with dementia is unbeleivably stressful even if you think youre doing ok! You are not getting dementia you are just so stressed that you go into a world of your own theres times I thought I was going nuts but its just stress I go into a shop and wonder what the hell im doing there? stress can do terrible things on our minds I do what I can to switch off from my mum even going for a walk helps! My mums deementia is diabetes related so no family history here but try not to think about you getting it youve enough to worry about none of us knows whats around the corner but worrying is not healthy just put it down to stress and try not to worry! Everybodys memory gets a little bad after 40 this is normal I wanted to play a song on youtube the other day and couldnt think of the band or the song then the next day it came to me this is stress also Im suffering from mild depression looking after my mum who wouldnt be depressed!

:) Oh yes, it is common to see and feel dementia symptoms when you are caregiving someone with dementia! Heck, when my mom with severe arthritis visit, my own arthritis seems worse.

I read about a study, reported in the Smithsonian recently, about infants and toddlers and their reactions to the misfortunes of other babies. Many of them felt bad if another kid in their playgroup felt bad. In some this empathy was very extreme, and some did not seem aware of the distress of others at all. But most were affected by the distress of others.

Seems "normal" to me that if someone we love a lot and are around a lot has some symptoms, we may feel those symptoms, too. I don't think this is about a pathology in our brains. I don't think I really have more severe arthritis when I am around my mother, or that I had dementia when I was caring for my husband. I think these are just "normal" reactions of an empathetic person.

Just my theory, though. It works for me. :)

Even though my parents don't have dementia, only age related forgetfulness [senior moments], I find dealing with my Mom's health issues, my Dad's health issues, my significant other's health issues and my own [we are all senior citizens] it feels like my brain is on overload.

My primary doctor said it is all stress related regarding my own forgetfulness. It just takes longer to find the correct file cabinet in the brain and the folder that has the information I need. It can take a couple minutes, or the rest of the day and usually at midnight I get the ah ha moment of what I was trying to remember :)

Thank goodness for spell check, as my spelling has gotten terrible in the past year or maybe it's just my typing :P

God, yes. I feel so often these past several months (at 46) as if I can't pull up basic words ... can't remember the name of this actress or that one ... of this product or that one ... what was that thing I needed at the grocery store ... why did I come into this room again ... and while I know everyone has more memory problems as they get older, and CERTAINLY it would not be unusual to have problems while being under the amount of stress I've been living with in the last year, I cannot help looking at my Dad and hearing this little voice in the back of my head whispering insidiously, "And so it begins. That's going to be you, that's going to be you, that's going to be you." I spend so much time on the Web, and have read so much about various dementias, and how they think some of these diseases really "start" decades before they get bad enough to be diagnosed ... and yes, I worry. I worry. I worry.

But I'm TRYING (believe me, not always successfully, and I'm sure you can relate!) not to worry so much ... I am neither religious nor a follower of any particular new-age or "other" philosophy, but I have friends of all stripes, and one of my friends who grew up in a particular sect is fond of saying that we "walk in the direction we're pointed in." While I adamantly reject the notion that anyone CHOOSES an essentially involuntary fate (like cancer or dementia -- leaving aside the few lifestyle choices we can make that may or may not help us have a slightly better chance of averting these outcomes, depending on what the studies are saying this week!), I do agree that it can't be healthy to dwell or fixate on the conviction that a particularly unpleasant possible future is the only one I can have. So I try actively to imagine and BELIEVE in other futures for myself.

Having said that, I also intend to keep a clear head and eye on myself, and not to be in denial if a dementia really does rear its ugly head. I can relate to your remark about asking your husband to help you help yourself out of the world if this happens to you (though be careful about this, as you wouldn't want to put him in a difficult legal position; different states have different attitudes about prosecuting anything that feels even vaguely like "assisted" suicide ... up to and including simply handing someone the drugs they then take). As I have written about elsewhere on this board, my mother was able to end her suffering legally at the end of her struggle with breast cancer because she lived in Oregon, one of the state's with a Death with Dignity Act, where it is possible to obtain a lethal prescription of sleeping pills if you are certified by two separate physicians as being within 6 months of death and in your right mind. At her passionate request, I helped her go through the process of obtaining her prescription and was present at her death, which was fast and peaceful, and exactly what I would want for myself or anyone else who was suffering as she had been. My father, who also lives in Oregon, will not have this option because he has dementia and by the time he can be diagnosed as within 6 months of death, will most certainly not be described by any doctor as in his right mind (I would say he already is not).

I learned the other day that one of my favorite sci fi/fantasy comic writers, Terry Pratchett, has Alzheimer's. Terry, a British writer, has apparently made no secret of the fact that he does not intend to live out this disease to its inevitable conclusion, though he is still living and working while he can in the UK. I read in an interview with him about Dignitas, a Swiss group that helps those with terminal illnesses and severe physical and mental illnesses to die assisted by qualified doctors and nurses. Obviously, people who want to avail themselves of this assistance have to travel outside the US to them, and many (including people from the US) have. It gave me some hope to learn that this organization existed (you can find more info about them on the Web), and I hope that it or something like it still exists if in the future if I need it ... because while I respect everyone's decision to make their own choice for themselves, I personally would want to be able to make the choice that my mother had -- and I despair of ever being given that right in this country. I'll count myself lucky if in the next 10 years, Death with Dignity comes to my state, as it is (so gradually, so painfully slowly) gradually spreading to other states (up to four now, I think?).

I know many will not agree that choice and/or would not elect to take it for themselves, and I respect that. I do not know, if push came to shove, what I would or will do ... but I know right now that it is an option that I would/will consider, and that keeping some money in reserve for international travel for this purpose is something that I intend to do if I possibly can.

Oh .. I know y'all are going to think I've gone around the bend, but here's my theory.

Those of us of who caregive, and especially the ones who embrace it and (yes, it's possible) enjoy it, are just a weeeeeeeee bit clairevoyant and empathic. And even some of us who don't like it or embrace it are. I'm convinced it's part of the genetic make-up.

I'm sure the 'experts' would say that the clairevoyance is merely that we've learned enough of the behaviors and nuances of our loved ones, that we can simply anticipate their needs or wants. Maybe. I don't think so. Many would call me crazy just to think it.

Those same experts would likely call the empathic stuff just our way of being sympathetic and being too involved. On that, I'd say they're not entirely wrong, but being empathic means you actually feel what they feel. My perfect example: I'd been caring for E about two years, full time and living in her house, when I started feeling like, "geeeeez, why am I here? why don't I just die? how soon can I arrange it?" I promise you they were NOT suicidal thoughts, I just wanted it all to end. And then, one day, I was telling our visiting nurse about it, and saying how difficult it was to stay positive around E, when something in me went .. "omigod .. how much of what I'm feeling is what *she's* feeling???" Cuz, I'm not the suicidal type, I know why I'm here on the planet, I know my purpose and I make every day count for something. Fortunately, I'm also one of those who, once I've identified a conflicting emotion can shut that door (in a good way = not bury it .. simply close access to what's causing it, emotionally) and walk away clear headed and healthier. So, I just chose to feel only MY feelings and the world seem to brighten and clarify.

Just my thoughts on it.

This happened to me. The therapist explain to me that this was due to being overwhelmed and the brain just sort of goes on auto pilot. I heard a great defintion of alzheimers. It is not about forgetting where your car key ares, it is about forgetting what the keys are for. You really need some me time. You are doing too much.

I thought I was loosing my mind also. I would have out of body experiences and view my situation like an outsider looking in. My Doctor told me this is normal for people undergoing a tremendous amount of stress. It is called Dissociative disorder and occurs when the mind cant deal with whats going on. Not to worry. It is generally temporary. I've run through every emotion with my mom on a daily basis. I tried so hard for years to make Mom fit into my world and force some sense into her and got so upset when I couldnt do it. Finally I just started to accept that she cannot change and I started changing my world to fit into hers. Things got a lot better. Everything is perception and what YOU make it out to be. If I make things out to be a big deal, then its a big deal. When I decided to just role with things and let my Mom just do all the things that don't make sense and pretend I know what she's talking about then things got better for everyone. I've just locked up anything that could be of danger to her and let her rearrange my house all day. Its just stuff. Better to have a messy house than a messy attitude.

I've read a lot about how stress can effect your short term memory. I've read how that happens in different ways. Here's an article about one study.

psychcentral/news/2012/09/17/rat-study-shows-how-stress-disrupts-short-term-memory/44704.html

I try to think positive. If I'm going to be spared, then my worry about the condition is unnecessary and just drags me down. And if I am going to get it, then I need to enjoy every single moment I have before that time comes. I will have all proper paperwork in order, just in case. lol

Both of my grandmothers had Alzheimer's and most studies say that this means I will get it too. Every single time I forget something like a word I should know or a reason why I entered a room, I'm convinced that it's got me. Sunnygirl1, that article was really helpful and actually made me feel a lot better about my short term memory loss issues.