My dad had successful surgery a couple weeks ago and is in rehab at a very nice nursing home. He is physically strong for 87, but has dementia and his manic/depressive/egotistic/delusions of grandeur personality is as bad as ever. The nursing home dropped the pay-down to medicaid bomb on me - 5 years of all records etc. $8,000+ per month etc.
Question: What if I just didn't pick him up from rehab? What would they do? I've put myself in a lather trying to figure out where to put him. What if I just left him there? I'm not bringing him home. I simply don't want him anymore. I'm sorry - I don't want him around me. I don't want to care for him. I'd be just happy if they kept him and liened his property and social security etc. I don't mind that - it seems they'd do that anyway. Would they put him in a car and bring him to my doorstep? Would they just keep him and apply for medicaid themselves? What would they do? Does anyone know?
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Great example of why one should never sign and accept responsibility for someone else.
If you signed him into the rehab your screwed.
If not, it the hospital sent him: Say keep him and tell them to contact his lawyer (and tell give your lawyer a heads up)
Time to hand him off and don't buy the 'but he's your daaad' routine.
best of luck
Just because you don't care to be around him isn't enough of a reason to put him in a nursing home if he is "physically strong".
I don't know understand the resentment in the post but it sounds like you need to move on and out. Good luck to both of you.
Dave Ramsey, in talking about a similar situation on his Christian radio program about money, recently said, "You can love the dog all you want, but if the dog reaches out and bites you when you pet it, you should stay away from the dog." I go a little further and say that if that dog bites you when you come close, you are tempting the dog to sin. Since I don't want to induce anyone to sin, I am going to stay far away even from the dog I love who bites me. Yes, just so I don't give him the opportunity to sin.
Honoring a parent can be making sure they are taken care of, it does not mean loving them, a hard concept to grasp if you were not an abused child yourself. Dennis Praeger had an excellent article about honoring mother and father in Dec 14. BlueRidge, you have asked a fine question that deserves thoughtful answers.