After grandma died 4 years ago, grandad moved in with us.
It has been really difficult, because he was always a difficult person. But lately it has been going downwards.
He sits in the living room (which is joint with the kitchen) all day. And he has chronic kidney failure (which he doesnt know he does because he would panic). So because of this kidney failure there is this disgusting smell in the living room, and he is alone all day while we have other things to do and we do tell him to vent the space to open the terrace door, but he just doesn't.
It is driving us all mad. Nobody stays in there anymore cos we just cant despite cleaning and disinfecting every night when he goes to sleep.
Is there something else I can put into the space to remove the smell?
Air fresheners don't work.
I know that this seems like a small problem but things are just escalating and he is tearing the family apart. He already ruined the bathroom (which me and my mum disinfect every night because it is disgusting) My dad moved away because he can't take it anymore. And mum is going crazy as well because her life has become working and then coming home to clean after grandad.
Retirement home is not an option as he said he'd rather die than go there.
If I can just get rid of the smell i would mean a lot already. Make things easier.
And mop the living room floor every evening, vent the place and change the couch covers every second day. It doesnt help.
The problem is mum and I leave every morning at 6:30 am and return at about 6 pm.
Thanks for the support and understanding. I can understand how bad it is to have someone smoke inside.
I am actually a nurse and I know what bad smells are, and people always point the finger at me as if how can i be a nurse if i am bothered by bad smells. I can deal with bad smells. But i just don't want it in my house and it is driving me mad.
When my sister was on hospice they told us that a box of kitty litter under the bed went a long way in absorbing odor.
White vinegar in bowls set about the house can absorb some odors.
Does he bathe and change clothes often enough?
Best of luck and let us know what works.
I am the one who empties it. I get nauseous. I hate it. Then I lose my appetite and can’t eat. My husband gets upset because I don’t eat but I can’t force myself to eat. Smells do get to those who are sensitive to it. I am extremely sensitive to smells. I wanted to burn a candle in her room but mom said she didn’t want to accidentally knock it over and cause a fire. But she has a tall chest of drawers that I think I will try and put it on.
My second thought was one one of those plug in things.
I know that filters for the furnace A/C can be found that use charcoal to help with household odors are available.
You might check with service company that help locate these filters.
Maybe the odor is really coming from his body (not the room) and is intensified if he is unable to effectively change whatever is holding the moisture (pants, underwear or incontinence products). If he is not using incontinence products, switch to them now. Is he able to effectively shower/bathe to get clean?
if he cannot get properly clean (and is reluctant to your helping) hire a person to help him shower. If you cannot afford this regularly, hire someone to come in a few times (and “train yourself” by observing their techniques).
Take good care of your mom. She has gone through significant loss already and now is suffering more, ongoing loss.
Many people may criticize her for taking care of your grandfather in light of the circumstances. Don’t criticize her—support and energize her. Tell her that she is helping you by bring a hero. This will help sustain her on those days that feel unproductive and useless.