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One idea would be to turn a room in your house into an "outside-like environment" with fake plants (tree type) and a few other "faux" items such as a small table with plastic glass and mini "cocktail" umbrellas. Could fool her.
Tidytommy…I was not asking you about your wife. I was asking Hazelxx, per her question. And as my MIL just died from Alz and lived with me I am very aware of sundowners. My father , who is 91 is also in the middle stages of Alz and I currently spend two weeks at a time living with him. Sorry for your confusion. I certainly agree and I also practice redirecting, distraction, deflecting and all available techniques to deal with an ALZ patient ….it is an on-going process.
Agingcare.com has a section devoted to memory loss care, and the Alzheimer's Association has a helpful brochure that outlines how you can set up "Activities at Home" to match your loved one's level of capacity:
My mom was a pacer also. Unfortunately her last fall 2 years ago has left her wheelchair bound. In the few times she does speak a few words coherently she will say "ok, let's go". I take that to mean she's ready to go pace. Early on when she was still at home, it just depended on what day or what set her off that we could redirect her. A lot of the times we could by saying let's so sit outside which she loved in the 110 degree weather with mosquitoes. Or she and i would go take a walk. She wasn't much into pictures. I think it was because she didn't remember any of the people and it frustrated her that we would say "oh, remember when we did this?" But we could always get her to walk or sit outside. During the winter time all we had to do is put her in the car for a ride or go get a cup of coffee again which she absolutely loved. I bet she made (at first) or my dad made 5 pots of coffee a day. :) At night, we didn't have to worry about her going outside because she was so afraid of the darkness. She would start closing up the house shutters around 4:30....summer or winter. Now we know that it was Sundowners. I could go on and on about when she lived at home. Many, many stories. She was one of the sweetest ladies and best mom I have ever known but this disease is evil and does evil things. Hope you got some ideas from everyone for the problem you are having. Everyone has their own story and own way of handling things. Good Luck and God Bless
I use distraction to get my mom off of path or subject. Her favorite thing is "I am moving and want to get a bigger place" (she is in a nursing home but thinks it is a tiny apartment.) I just tell her there is nothing available to rent right now and then will ask her to tell me about Dad, or when she was young, or something of that nature.
They are worse then children.They will get up in the middle of the night and walk out of the house. Then get lost. Once my Mom said she went outside to get the baby, she heard a baby crying. It's difficult to watch after them. You don't want them to get hurt
No Anne, it's not as brutal as I made it sound.. I live in a small village of 30 houses and a chateau... I let my wife go out and if she hasn't returned in four or five minutes I go out and call her back... She has done this up to 135 times a day.. Never gets more than 400 yards... Obviously I would have to change my routine if we lived in a busier environment.. There is a syndrome called "sundowners". Look it up on the Internet. You will find many Alzheimer's sufferers conform almost exactly to it.. My wife does at the moment... By the time I've typed this she has been out twice.. Must go and retrieve her for the third time...
Wandering, or just wanting out side to pace/walk repeatedly IS a way to deal with the agitation that comes with dementias. My Dad had it really bad. Meds can be prescribed to tone down the anxiety/agitation and thus the need to get out a walk/pace. When my Dad was finally placed in a Memory Care facility, we found one that had 5 cottages on locked grounds. There were nice, paved walking paths, with resting spots, and no cottage doors were ever locked. Thus, those who paced, could go in and out whenever they had that desire, but were safe in their walking around. The assigned staff had to know where all their residents were every 15 minutes by counting and looking, so even if someone were to fall or something, they would not be out of sight for long. At night, staff followed or walked with a 'pacer'. And meds were used for more severe situations. Diversion is also used, as other suggested. On bad days, for my Dad, he could, for example, be assigned to 'help' the maintenance guy who was fixing things. It could be picking up dead branches or building something, or checking on the watering system....but Dad felt very important 'helping', even though he really was not helping...but given something to carry or to hold while the guy was doing something...kept him busy, and in sight of a worker and got the anxiety to go away because he was actively doing something. Food always worked too, for Dad. If you didn't want him to do what he wanted...just saying, OK...we'll do that, but why don't we have some ice cream first....or whatever treat is liked....and by the time the treat is finished, his mind had forgotten what he had originally wanted to go do. I am now much more skilled at diversion with my Mom and her Alzheimer's because I've seen how easily it really works to suggest some diverting behavior. It's hard until you see it working, to understand just how short the short term memory really is...when that person is your own relative....because you keep seeing them as they 'were' in their good times. And when it's your parent, you are so hooked into the 'child' role, where you must let them be in charge and not question their desires. However, roles become reversed and their brains are not sending the right signals. Arguing or explaining why they should not do something....will never work....so it's diversion, or find a safe way to allow the behavior, whatever it is.....and/or ask the doctor for meds to tone down the anxiety/agitation because that is what is generally behind the need to walk/pace.
Putt a black large mat on the floor by the door might help. They think that it is a hole and will not step on it. Also on the redirect get a bunch of towels or clothes in a basket that you just keep asking them to help fold them. Put them out of the area and later mess them up and bring them up. At a flea market or garage sale get some utensils that are miss matched. Ask their help in putting the alike pieces together. I use brightly colored dominions set. (not black). We play together to make up the like designs. (which are the colors but they do not see it that way.
Occasionally my mom would get agitated with me or her husband L and would storm out of the house slamming doors and such. This was actually the best thing for her as after a few munutes outside she would forget she had been so angry. Snow is a deterrent to the wandering behavior though we have some nice winter days too.
Whenever she would leave the house I would wait a minute or two and then follow her. I could tell by her gait when the anger had subsided. There was a comfortable shaded porch at her home. We would sit out there often, nearly daily in nice weather. That had a tremendously calming effect on her and of course me too. We had a birdbath and feeder setup nearby. She absolutely loved watching the birds!
I am curious what you mean by go out? By themselves? Are they truly capable to do this? Is it in the night or day? Any weather? Do you have any alarms in place? Does it help to say….wait, and I will go out with you. Then stall and redirect with something you need help with. What have you tried already?
Tidytommy had some great suggestions. Distraction is likely the best way to go. Keep in mind things that your loved one likes to do and be ready to come up with some ideas when he or she wants to go out. Arguing won't work and will just cause more aggression, so distraction/redirection seem best. Easy? No. But this may be your only option. Please keep checking in. People here have gone through what you are going through now. Carol
I used to be able to distract my wife, by getting her involved with something she liked to do.. In her case, colouring or looking at old photographs.. Now as the disease progresses, I find it impossible to distract her.. I let her go when it is safe to do so... The one good thing about winter is that the weather can be a deterrent to her wandering..if I feel it is not safe for her to go out or it's just not convenient, I lock her in, and that is when the aggression starts, usually directed at the door. I've had to change handles a couple of times.. I have found over the years it is always better to comply with her wishes if at all possible.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
my god .
im on a quest of being more agreeable
alz/national/documents/brochure_activities.pdf
There is a syndrome called "sundowners". Look it up on the Internet. You will find many Alzheimer's sufferers conform almost exactly to it.. My wife does at the moment... By the time I've typed this she has been out twice.. Must go and retrieve her for the third time...
Whenever she would leave the house I would wait a minute or two and then follow her. I could tell by her gait when the anger had subsided. There was a comfortable shaded porch at her home. We would sit out there often, nearly daily in nice weather. That had a tremendously calming effect on her and of course me too. We had a birdbath and feeder setup nearby. She absolutely loved watching the birds!
Please keep checking in. People here have gone through what you are going through now.
Carol