I have been POA (durable) for almost 4 years for my 90 year old widowed father who lives in his own home in WI. I live 400 miles away. His "assets" are enough to probably pay out of pocket for 4 years of NH care, if it came to that.
He has some dementia but wants to remain in his own home. Recently he sold some commercial property in his name in the amount of $35,000.00. Before the ink was even dry, one of my sister's said to me that amount now should be distributed equally to the same beneficiaries named in his will, which are 7, including myself. I tried to explain to her that I was hesitant to do so, as there is a Medicaid 5 year look back period if he would exhaust his funds. Her response, "he has plenty of money"..., implying that shouldn't be a problem. I considered distributing a lesser amount than $5,000 each, possibly $3,000 but again, if he would live longer and would have to have Medicaid at some point, the situation with the look back period would be the same.
This particular sibling has always been very focused on receiving money from Dad, whether now or after he is gone. She has spent more time with me arguing and dismaying that our dad didn't distribute his money to his (adult) children earlier than the last 5 years, so that he wouldn't have to use his " hard earned money" to pay for his own care if he had to go to a NH. Her argument is considering all the taxes his paid, it's time the "government" pays for his care, if necessary.
It's useless to try to explain anything to her as she as anecdotal comments of what other people have been able to do to avoid using their own funds to pay for NH care. She is fine to have in home help for him but when I've mentioned who would pay for that, she is usually without comment.
It bothers me no end that she feels she already has "ownership" of dad's money.
If according to what I understand her to say, he will outlive his money; if that would be the case she will get her portion of the sale after he is gone through the distribution of the will.
My question at this time is, am I being over cautious in not distributing the $35,000 to my siblings? My dad has said he is fine (he has no concept of the look back period, etc.) with whatever I would decide, That being said, he is very aware now and in the past my sister is always looking out (monetarily) for her 2 children and 8 grandchildren.
Need a financial reason, we recently buried a family member --- 101 1/2, another 98, and my MIL will be 99 in a few months. I wish your Dad the best but things can go sour rather quickly. 4 years of NH payments is NOT being overly cautious.
Your sister needs a crash course in elder care financing, Medicare, and Medicaid. And the behind the scene cost of other budgeted items for an elder. Something as simple as Depends can crash one's budget as they are very expensive. The cost of Boost or Ensure isn't anything to shake a stick at. Then what if your Dad needs a hospital bed? The top of the line could be $10k.
So stand your ground, Dad money is only going to himself. Yes he can gift his money to whomever he wants, but that would create a minefield later on if he needs Medicaid. Ask your sister if she would take Dad in if he runs out of money and can't qualify for Medicaid.
I do hope your dad has the funds to never need to apply for Medicaid. But if not, realize that for eligibility the degree of financial history is pretty exacting and can go back 5 years from the date of the application. That 35K if gifted to Sissy or others would need for no medicaid application till 2021 in order for it not to be an issue. Any real property dad owns (cars, home, land) will have to be disclosed. The state can easily run a match-up by his name or SS# on any transfers and to the penny. Transfer penalties are not uncommon and it will be the POA who ends up saddled with dealing with it. If dad were to say get a transfer penalty for that 35K, could youprivate pay to the NH for dad for the penalty period??? Remember dad will have to spend down assets & become basically impoverished in order to be apply & eligible for Medicaid.
So realistically dad would need somewhere mid-six figures to be able to pay the costs of care without needing to apply for medicaid. And dad will need to also have whatever funds are needed to pay on his home and any other property he owns if he hopes to be able to have them inherited as per his will OR pay for their mainteneance & costs till they they are sold if they need to be sold to pay for his care. Does dad have maybe 400 - 700K? Really take a hard look at the figures before any gifting.
I might also address the issue of financing with your sister the next time she asks for money to put a stop to her demands and tell her that you couldn't even consider her request without a plan by which she and the other siblings put in escrow funds for your father's care, which you would manage, as well as commit of their time to help care for him. If she hears this a few times, it might stop her.
It sounds like your sister is counting eggs to me, thinking they look like baby chicks. You've done a good job trying to hold her back. I hope your father doesn't let her in the door. I have a feeling it would not go well.
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