Follow
Share

I have been sole caregiver for 9 years. Mom said I should take whatever house I wanted and let the boys share the other one, but they are not equal in value. My brothers think an equal 1/3 is fair. I am inclined to think my mom would have wanted me to be compensated for the care I willingly gave her when the boys were out of state and out of country living their lives. One visited every 3 years and stayed for 3 months to renew his visa and to visit, but would not fix her breakfast or see that she took her pills.. Cooked soups and such, but not helping with caregiving. She had short term memory loss and needed reminders and someone making sure she ate and took meds, etc. Other brother came every 6 months, but again never offered to lighten my load or free up any of my time. just reverted to being the youngest son even though he is an RN working with the elderly. He felt like Iwas keeping him from spending time with her, when in fact I was on the protective side when it came to taking her out for a drive when she wouldn't have enjoyed it. Her likes and dislikes kept changing and her ability to remember and enjoy some things varied...on any given day. My mom put my name on both properties because she trusted me and upon her death they became solely mine. I now need to know what is fair and just as far as how to share the properties. One is worth $410,000 and one is a mobilehome worth $180,000. To be or not to be...generous with them or allow myself extra for the years my life was put on hold for vacations, business meetings, etc.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
You need to do exactly what is written in her Will.. Assuming she had one..
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Do you live in one of the houses now?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

You start the post by stating mom trusted you and wanted you to keep one property and let the brothers share the second. Why skip over that to consider other alternatives? How is your doing what your mother requested being generous on your part? It's what she trusted you to do with her property.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Aka, keep the home, do not feel guilty about it. Had you been paid for care of mom, in home care 24/7 by an agency would have been about 10k a month. Times nine years? Over a million dollars. Even at a modest amount of 4k a month, 432k. Do not feel guilty about it. Do not let your brothers make you feel guilty. You put your life on hold for nine years while they went on with theirs. Those numbers do not take into consideration how much caregiving cost you in terms of lost wages and benefits from another employer!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Lack of "fairness" could run both ways in this instance... the OP's mother may have expected her to take the mobile home.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

...or put another way, cwillie, it may be fair even if it's unequal.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

She trusted you to carry out her wishes. You must have some inkling of what she really would have intended, when you transferred ownership did you not ask "what about the boys"? It doesn't have to be fair.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

How is your own financial situation? Normally I would vote for selling both and then dividing equally - but if you will be in a financial bind from not being able to pursue a career - as your brothers have been able to do - over the last nine years, then I'd say do what you need to do to ensure a financial safety net for yourself.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I would sell them both and divide the proceeds three ways. 200K is a decent amount of money and your relationship with your brothers is more important.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter