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Mom is nearing the end and she is constantly folding her sheet or blanket and the gown she is wearing. I try to keep a smaller towel handy so she will reach for that but sooner or later I find her folding her sheet or worse, trying to work her gown from underneath her to fold it up.

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She sounds a bit anxious. Hold her hand, listen to her concerns. Ask friends and family to come say their goodbyes. Calming music may help, play her favorites.
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My mother worked in a nursing home years ago. When elderly patients were close to expiring, they would constantly fold the end of their blankets or sheets over and over again. I don't know why they do this, but I do remember her telling me that and also my grandmother told me the same thing.
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My mom does the same thing. She just always needs to be doing something with her hands. I think when the brain can't stay engaged they need something to keep them busy. Since your Mother is bed ridden, she has nothing to do. When my mother was in the hospital, we put a couple stuffed animals on her bed and she would hold them or pet them. We also took a few hand towels and wash rags and layed them on top of her. She just kept folding them and then we would spread them out again so she could start over. Telling her stories seemed to help a little.
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I have no idea why, but Mom does it too. Mainly the newspaper that my DH hasn't read yet. Tell her she doesn't need to but she tells me someone told her to.
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These repetitive behaviors are often exhibited with people with dementia. If they are not hurting themselves or you, then I suggest that you accept her behavior for what it is. Folding does keep her occupied. The reason might be found in her past, but rather than asking her, I suggest that you recognize that you can't do anything about it, even if it annoys you. I know it is probably hard to watch your mother do this.
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Yes my client who has had dementia for two decades has always folded things, wrapped things up and taped them, folds napkins and placemats after eating. If you get some wash cloths any cheep kind will do put in small basket near her she will fold them and maybe not focus on her sheets or gown. It really seems to calm them in some way and focus their mind
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My mom is constantly "packing" her things. Not her clothes, per say, normally its toiletries and the few things she thinks are important. Mom is not in end stage though. Every time I come, I unpack and put her things away and ask her to hang up her clothes.
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My Mom's hand are always moving, folds her pants up to her thigh and rolls her shirt. I bought a fidget pillow and it helps a little.
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Dad puts his trousers on a chair, folded sonewhat. Ask him why they're there and he says he's taking them to the dry cleaner. Ok, on the chair they stay. He's forever fiddling with his belt buckle. Seems like he needs to keep his hands busy. For awhile he walked holding his pants up. Checked to be sure they fit properly. They did. It was a habit he developed. Now he constantly fiddles with the belt buckle. So be it.
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I remember my mother talking about giving my grandmother, who had dementia, a basket of washcloths to fold. It brought her some measure of peace to fold. I don't think we'll know why this is for sure, but I can see the familiarity of a repetitive activity long imbedded in memory bringing some comfort to a person living in constant confusion.
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I make fidget quilts and I hear this a lot from people about thier loved ones. The suggestions here are good--give her some thing else to fold like napkins or washcloths or something to "sort" like different colored buttons on a muffin tin (supervised).
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These are moments of remembering. I am sure she has folded tons of laundry in her life. This behavior is not harmful to self or others. Let her be. Praise her if you see her folding stuff, but do not scold her or und what she has just done. Be kind and loving.
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At my moms NH, they would set a low basket with face cloths, old socks or old ties on their bed or bedside table for them to "work" & "help" out with.
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Yep, my husband folds his "bib" neatly and arranges all his stuff on his desk perfectly. But then again, he was always one for having things in their proper place. Don't worry about it. The brain is trying to organize things, but several steps are missing in dementia.
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I agree with the poster who suggested that your mom may very well be anxious. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. If anyone knew they were actually going to die soon, I think they would also be anxious as well. You may want to talk to her about the afterlife as well as meeting her maker, because the soul will definitely go somewhere after this life, and it's the unknown that people fear. This would be an excellent opportunity to tell her about Jesus, because to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord if you're actually saved. Death is really not the end as some people think, there really is an afterlife that we will all one day face. There are only two places, and we will all end up at one of those two places. Like it or not, there is an afterlife awaiting us all. Now is the time to prepare for that afterlife and to prepare our loved ones for what they will face, especially when they are nearing the end.
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My husband folds paper all day, tissues, tp, paper towels & stuffs neatly into all his pockets, late stage 6
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My mom had a roommate with dementia when she was in a rehab facility. She always folded tissues. My mom has started to cover everything with towels, dishcloths, placemats.. Even her garbage cans.
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My mother does the same thing and I've often wondered why. She folds the sheets on her bed frequently, sometimes she folds her nightgown as well. Even when I sit with her holding her hand she'll sometimes do it, often she'll reach for my shirt and tries to fold it as well. Interesting (and a bit relieving ) to know that this isn't uncommon, I'm looking forward to reading other responses.
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Hopefully this doesn't sound demeaning...my son has sever autism and gets obsessed in doing repetive behaviors. An above post made me think of something that worked for him for a while. It's a doll - Dapper Dan or Dressy Betsey. These dolls are permently dressed in cloths that have buttons, zippers and ties. Little Rainman would work his Dapper Dan for hours at a time. It kept him busy and re enforced self-help skills - also helped to develop his fine motor skills. Just an idea...
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My mom is in hospice and does the same thing. The hospice nurse says they see this a lot with patients. Couldn't give me an explanation as to why. It seems harmless so we just let her do it.
BTW what is a Fidget Pillow??
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My mother likes to fold tissues into perfect squares. At first, this strange, repetitive behavior annoyed me. But now I feel that if it keeps her occupied, reduces her anxiety and is safe, I let her fold to her heart's content.
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A fidget pillow is made so that there hands are busy, my Mom's has fur, buttons, a zipper and a few other things. Google it and you will have a better idea. I bought hers on Etsey and so far she seems to like it,
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I've been thinking about this question...it got me thinking about repetive behavior in people with autism - maybe there's a similar reason, maybe not. With autism the repetive behavior can be about comfort. It has to do with reassurance, expectations and control. These individuals often have very little control over their own behaviors and lives (familiar?). They CAN control the object i.e. it will fold the same way every time. The outcome is predictable and thus reassuring. Often individuals with autism will watch the same movies over and over - they know what comes next, it is again predictable, reassuring thus comforting in their unpredictable world.
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Not folding, but wringing her hands and twirling her ring.
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Yes, is your answer. Guess it gives them some measure of comfort...maybe they think it's laundry.
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after my mom had her big stroke that she finally passed from, hospice called it picking. That might be the same thing as folding, but I'm not sure. They said pretty much everyone does that towards the end.
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Having worked in aged care for years, I see folding cloths & changing of garments as a very common behaviour in the dementia. Packing cloths is another one. Leaving only a few cloths in wardrobe can control this pattern. Dress person in a one- piece back to front so buttons or zip on back. They cannot take it off. Works well also at night when preventing pad being ripped off if incontinent.
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Michell: Good thing they can't take it off. Not a pretty sight!
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Rainmom, very interesting insight.
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Thanks ramiller! I've got tons of experience with Sutisn - my 22 yr old son, work for a non-profit than ran a program for individuals with Autism for ten years and my friends now are all parents of children with Autism - a your "regular" friends fall away. Up until recently I had zero experience with dementia. But as I go along, figuring out what works and what doesnt, I've begun noticing a lot of similarities: repetitive behavior, fixations on specific items or subjects, sensitivity to touch, visual thinking vs auditory thinking (how pictures can be used for understanding) the need for short, concise verbal cues and final that routine is critical for sucess in daily living.
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