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My suggestion is that you and fiance get a place of your own and get a caregiver in to help with Mom
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I never saw anything in the original post about this house belonging to fiance's mother. But based on subsequent posts I suggest they move out. Whose house is it really?
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sacrificing48, curious if this wasn't your MIL but one of your grown children who returned home to live. Would you send that grown child up to his/her room and ask him/her not to come out until the next morning?

You need to put yourself in your MIL's shoes, see and feel what she is going through.
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Sacrificing48 has not responded in three days. I think this one is done.
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Pam, I found it interesting that in her original post she said she wanted to run away.... and when most of us agreed that she should leave, she got upset. Go figure.
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That seems to happen a lot here! I think young folks come here thinking that their gut is telling them wrong, that love will overcome and we tell them to get real.
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This seems to be a very mixed up post--concerning whose home it is, who decided to do the caregiving, what kind of family meetings were held to discuss all of this BEFORE she moved in. I believe you could all use a counseling meeting with someone in the town from the office for the aging. And, no, I don not believe it is right to ask someone to be stuck alone in a bedroom after 5:30 each day for someone else's convenience, unless it had been preagreed upon.
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Have you lost a parent? If not, you don't have an understanding of what people go through with that type of loss. If you did, you would be more compassionte towards your future MIL. Search deep down in your heart and try to understand what this lady and her son are going through.If you are ever in their situation you will appreciate or wish that you had someone as good as your boyfriend to give you the moral support that some people are never fortunate enough to get.
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You, Future MIL, and Fiance, ALL, ALL, ALL, have separate homes. How far away is your work from MIL? and How far away is your work from YOUR house? What is closest to work?

See your Fiance on the weekends when you are fresh and ready to handle everything. On the week days, you work, and you need to rest so you can go back to work again the next morning. So, go home. Maybe one night go out with fiance and his mother. The rest of the days, rest up at your house, no added noise, etc....RELAX..
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Whoa! This is her home. If her son wants to care for her in her home you are either on board to help or stay In your own home. It it that simple. If he feels a loyalty to his mother to care for, over your wishes, you either deal with that or find a new boyfriend. Don't expect him to abandoned his mother. What is to say he won't abandoned you In the future as well if he does this to his mother? Just saying.
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I read Sacrificing48's response where she said MIL moved in -- after she and fiance cleaned up the home from a hoarder situation. Were they hoping to live there as their own place? It sounds like she considers it theirs now because they did all this work on it such as the new plumbing. Maybe that's why she feels she can lay down some rules. But if she feels it's okay to have future MIL in her room at 5:30 so she can have quiet after work, then she should go back to her won place.
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