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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Oh wow, just read your profile. Forgive my blunt words. I have a feeling that you’re a strong woman though.
You’re a Texan! I promise that I won’t say, ‘Bless your Heart!’ 😉 heehee, I am a southern gal, so I know what that phrase really means!
In all seriousness, Please go back to counseling. I find that it really helped me to see things more clearly.
Yes, by all means schedule cognitive testing for your mom if you like.
Also, have you called Council on Aging to do an assessment on her and possibly get help for her.
Your siblings are useless. Forget about their input.
Concentrate on yourself. Allow mom to be cared for by a staff.
Break free from your husband if you don’t feel like there is hope for a healthy relationship.
Close the doors to anything that is holding you back and making you miserable. You can advocate for your mom in a facility and visit her if there aren’t Covid restrictions. Otherwise talk on the phone.
Open the door up for working with animals. That seems to be a passion for you. You would be a wonderful asset to a veterinarian.
Wishing you all the best. Mom will survive without you. Take a page from your siblings book and live your own life.
Your profile says you have 5 other siblings. Are you or any one the PoA for your mom? If so, the medical PoA is the one who should now be taking her in for a cognitive exam.
If no one is her PoA I strongly recommend you or any other siblings encourage and help her put this legal framework in place. If she goes in to the doctor and the exam reveals cognitive impairment, she may no longer be able to create the documents because she will no longer be "of sound mind".
Without any PoA and with a medical diagnosis of cognitive incapacity those who wish to help her or manage her care legally will in this scenario need to pursue guardianship through the courts. This takes time and costs money and with other siblings it can become a circus.
If no one in the family pursues guardianship then the county WILL. In order to "make" her do anything in her best interests (but which she stubbornly and irrationally resists) "someone" has to have legal authority to bring it about.
I also strongly suggest you are transparent with your siblings about the next steps with your mom. They may have opinions but offer no actual help. This is definitely very common in families, but very unhelpful. Good communication, just facts. If they criticize what you do then tell them they can come and do it themselves. FYI your spouse and child have priority over your mother. Your mom is a mature adult who had her whole life to plan for this eventuality.
If money is an issue for her, you can help her apply for Medicaid if she qualifies for MC and you do not wish to care for her yourself in your home -- and do not feel guilt or obligation to do this, and do not submit to pressure from family, either. They can come do it themselves. In some states Medicaid will pay for some or all of AL, but not many. I wish you much productive help from your family and peace in your heart as you move forward and make decisions.
As Geaton said, start with her PCP. Have testing done to rule out any physical problems. But don't depend on him for a thorough cognitive testing. Have him refer u to a Neurologist.
Usually the answer to this is yes. If elder is in hospital for some other reason, say chest pain, and you call in the hospitalist you may get some scans and referrals without the primary. But usually the first step is primary. The primary then refers out to neuro-psyc. As POA you should have a diary of what is happening for several weeks so that you don't hear "Oh, I saw her last month; she's just fine" sort of thing. Good luck.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You’re a Texan! I promise that I won’t say, ‘Bless your Heart!’ 😉 heehee, I am a southern gal, so I know what that phrase really means!
In all seriousness, Please go back to counseling. I find that it really helped me to see things more clearly.
Yes, by all means schedule cognitive testing for your mom if you like.
Also, have you called Council on Aging to do an assessment on her and possibly get help for her.
Your siblings are useless. Forget about their input.
Concentrate on yourself. Allow mom to be cared for by a staff.
Break free from your husband if you don’t feel like there is hope for a healthy relationship.
Close the doors to anything that is holding you back and making you miserable. You can advocate for your mom in a facility and visit her if there aren’t Covid restrictions. Otherwise talk on the phone.
Open the door up for working with animals. That seems to be a passion for you. You would be a wonderful asset to a veterinarian.
Wishing you all the best. Mom will survive without you. Take a page from your siblings book and live your own life.
Warning: whatever will be will be.
Try not to get sucked down with other people's ships. You can still be in your own lifeboat, planning where to go, what to do.
If no one is her PoA I strongly recommend you or any other siblings encourage and help her put this legal framework in place. If she goes in to the doctor and the exam reveals cognitive impairment, she may no longer be able to create the documents because she will no longer be "of sound mind".
Without any PoA and with a medical diagnosis of cognitive incapacity those who wish to help her or manage her care legally will in this scenario need to pursue guardianship through the courts. This takes time and costs money and with other siblings it can become a circus.
If no one in the family pursues guardianship then the county WILL. In order to "make" her do anything in her best interests (but which she stubbornly and irrationally resists) "someone" has to have legal authority to bring it about.
I also strongly suggest you are transparent with your siblings about the next steps with your mom. They may have opinions but offer no actual help. This is definitely very common in families, but very unhelpful. Good communication, just facts. If they criticize what you do then tell them they can come and do it themselves. FYI your spouse and child have priority over your mother. Your mom is a mature adult who had her whole life to plan for this eventuality.
If money is an issue for her, you can help her apply for Medicaid if she qualifies for MC and you do not wish to care for her yourself in your home -- and do not feel guilt or obligation to do this, and do not submit to pressure from family, either. They can come do it themselves. In some states Medicaid will pay for some or all of AL, but not many. I wish you much productive help from your family and peace in your heart as you move forward and make decisions.
As POA you should have a diary of what is happening for several weeks so that you don't hear "Oh, I saw her last month; she's just fine" sort of thing. Good luck.