Yes, I spelled bureaucrazy with a 'z' because it's making me that way. Because crazy is what it is, and what it makes you when you don't have a clue as to what you're dealing with!
My ex's hospice social worker told me back in September to complete his application for LTC Medicaid, which I did. Meanwhile, no beds in the entire state and our rental home is going to be sold at some point. I never hear anything about the LTC app and stupidly assume it must be OK. But it isn't.
It was denied, but with a request for further documentation. This was back in October. The state sent the letter to my ex, and he did what he always does with any official mail. He ripped it up and threw it out. At least that's what I assume because I never saw it. Despite the fact that I made it clear in the app that I was completing it because he was unable and gave them my contact information.
Finally, the hospice social worker made a referral to a memory care facility. They called me and asked me to submit an app for him, which I did. Deliriously! Finally, some pale glimmer of hope! Heard nothing. His hospice nurse asked me one day to call the facility and see what was up. Oh, they received word from the state that his LTC app was denied pending further documentation and they sent me an email two weeks previously about this.
Except, they DIDN'T! If I had gotten it, you think I wouldn't have crawled down to the state offices, naked, over hot coals if that's what they needed? I asked the facility to resend this email. I didn't receive it and asked again in about an hour. Was told that their IT department encrypts messages first before sending, so it doesn't come right away. So. Did the original message get hung up in IT during encryption? Who knows!
I called the state and was told I have 5 days of the 60 they had given to get the documents in, otherwise I'd have to do a new app. This was the Friday before New Year's. I had a total meltdown getting the documentation together, ending on a crying jag because of the technological snafus dealing with his credit union and his lousy computer. I finally had to redo everything on my own computer and call his credit union for items I couldn't access. But I got it in on Wednesday afternoon just before my shift at my seasonal job! Two days to spare!
The memory care facility then emailed me saying that the state needs a LTC application. Oh......KAY! Once again, find all this out when I'm trying to get to my seasonal job. I called the state and was told they would email me the original app I had already done to sign and re-date and they would accept that. And once again, I battled technological screw-ups and encrypted messages to get it signed and emailed back with just enough time to get to work. I had my crying jag on the drive there.
Now ... just waiting. Checking my email every half hour. Paranoid that I'm going to miss something. I want him in this facility SO BADLY! I need this to be over! In the meantime, the landlady didn't raise the rent this month, but will next month. I have a home loan, but can't find anything livable in my price range. But if I can just get him placed, I can free up brain cells to figure something out! Living in my car is not doable simply because I have pets.
In the meantime, there have been three huge loads dragged to the dump, and things are looking good to clear the place out. None of the social workers have been in the least helpful, and one of them told me to never mind about calling APS because they won't help! My "holiday season" was a nightmare of diarrhea accidents and flipflopping of his sleep schedule, so I'm exhausted and fed up and tired and angry and I just want this to end. I'm thinking of finding a lawyer to help navigate this because I am doing this trial and error and getting a lot more error than I can stand.
Why is it so damn difficult to find placement for someone who is so clearly unable to fend for himself?!
As to the bureaucracy, a friend has been working to get her parents into AL and memory care, self-paid, and it seems like every time she is ready to move one of them a new hurdle arises. The latest is a “oh we forgot, we need a chest x-ray to confirm Mom doesn’t have TB!” Why this wasn’t addressed 2 months ago no one knows.
I feel your pain, I spent 3 months getting Dad signed up for Medicaid. The case worked demanded every document in hard copies, nothing digital. When I applied for his VA pension I had to be appointed a Fiscal Representative and another 6 weeks of submitting and filing documents proving I was responsible and not trying to steal his pittance. After he died I had to drag my elderly mother to the Social Security office in person to apply for her benefits and prove he was dead.
Then I found out Mom was eligible for an Aid and Attendance pension and I had to submit an entirely new set of printed docs for that. Someone in the Chicago office claimed some papers were not in the package (not true, they lost them) and I had to go through it all again!
I will say that I believe the Medicaid case worker (state level) was trying to be helpful, she was stuck working within government rules. And the case manager for the pension (federal) was hugely helpful and returned calls every time I left a message. So in the end it was worth the effort. The trick is to not take it personally, it’s just a job to them.
Although the Elder Law Attorney will be a fee based service, they should consult gratis with you 1x to learn what your needs are and determine if in fact they can help you.
Are you looking to get a parent or relative approved for Medicaid?
Or, as the advice here seems to be in agreement on, beat it for parts unknown! Good luck!
As long as you're there, no one is going step in.
Yes, get a lawyer who understands Medicaid in your state. Maybe she'll tell you the same thing, or maybe she'll have a better idea.
The divorce seems to be simply a paper document that means nothing.
Nothing has changed here due to that divorce other than he cannot get nor spend your portion of the assets.
I can only say that until you bow out of this and leave it to the state, nothing good will likely happen.
THEY REALIZE he is NOT fending for himself. YOU are there and they know it. OTHERS will take priority, those who have no one. Until you leave I suspect this is the way it will be.
Let the landlady handle the eviction. That's not your business. Move to your own digs and begin your life as you intended when you told us you were beginning this divorce is about the only advice I can provide you.