My Mother was admitted to a nursing house on Nov 1, 2018. Nine days earlier she had been hospitalized due to a UTI with septicemia. We have lived together for the past 12 yrs. I have been her primary care giver during this time. During the first 2 days she was hospitalized, I got the flu. I was very sick for 3 weeks. During this time, my 3 siblings took control of her care which was not a good thing. Her prognosis when she was discharged from the hospital to the nursing home included her NEVER coming home according to my siblings. My fiancé & I both heard one of my brothers say this in Dec 2018. Despite his statement, I busted my ass trying to get my Mother home. Made myself an emotional, exhausted, overwhelmed mess trying to make sure she was getting proper care, meds, PT, etc. (I’m disabled & have several chronic illnesses.) I have been & am still praying Mom will come home. My question is... Would you tell your Mother she is never coming home?? My siblings use the phrase, “if & when you come home” to give her the impression she will be/is coming home. Mom has been on Medicaid since April. I want what is best for her. To me, telling her this lie is not the right thing to do. I think she should know the truth. What do you think?? Responses are much appreciated!
No, I don't think that I would tell her. Has she been diagnosed with dementia?
If the doctor's say a nursing home is where she needs to be, then that's where she needs to be. It sounds like you have enough health challenges of your own.
To tell her would rob her of "hope" and that can be devastating.
Second, shouldn’t her care setting be based on where she’s most comfortable and can receive the best care possible 24/7/365? If it was making you ill to provide for her care singlehandedly why would you want to offer her a situation where your health might worsen because of her?