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From my observation, it seems that most caregivers are on the journey largely on their own. Yet there are millions of caregivers in the U.S. alone. It seems there should be opportunities all around for caregivers to connect in person, support each other, and trade ideas and problem solve together. This seems like a missed opportunity. I see caregiver in-person support groups here and there but not nearly as much as I would expect give how many of us there are. I'm wondering if you know of organizations that structure these opportunities already. Perhaps I just don't know about them. Thank you.

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I'm going to postulate that most caregivers don't have the free time to escape to an in-person meeting, though it's a lovely idea .
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david2022 Apr 2022
Very fair point. It's good that there are both online and in-person groups so everyone can find options that work best depending on their situation.
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It's a sweet thought, but after spending every waking moment tending to the needs of someone that doesn't appreciate or care....I just don't have it in me to meet up and talk about it. As it is now 1:30 am and I'm just now reading through these posts....I can't imagine most people have the time or mental energy to do anything other than whats absolutely necessary before collasping.
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A lot of support groups are meeting on Zoom. If there are specific health issues in play check with the national organizations for support groups. You can also check with your local Agency Area on Aging.
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david2022 Apr 2022
Thank you!
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Thankfully we have a local caregiver support group that has been meeting twice a week for years. I found them online 4 years ago, when I was at my breaking point while caring for my husband. They saved my life, and are such an important of my caregiving journey, and now that my husband has been dead for over a year and a half, I still go to try and help others who are still in the throes of caregiving.
They of course had to start meeting on Zoom 2 years ago because of Covid, but just a month ago started meeting back in person.
You cannot put a price on this kind of support group, as it's vitally important for the caregiver to get the support they need and to not feel all alone.
No one understands better what we caregivers go through, than another caregiver who has walked or is walking in your shoes.
You're right. We need more support groups for caregivers. Ones like the one I attend that meets weekly and where everyone gets a chance to talk and share with the rest of the group exactly what they're going through. It's a game changer for sure and in my case, a life saver as well.
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david2022 Apr 2022
I'm so glad to hear that the support group you found has been so helpful to you. It's great to hear it can have that much of a positive impact.
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Tynagh, Perk4me, and others that don't have the time for a Support Group or a half dozen other reasons let me put this out.
Getting a caregiver in for a few hours 1 time a month will give you a bit of a break that is well deserved and important to your mental well being.
It will get you out of the house and your loved one will be just fine with someone else taking care of them for a few hours. They may even benefit from someone else staying with them for a few hours.
The communication with others is important. As well as getting to express what you are going through. And there may be some that have gone through what you are dealing with n ow and you may help someone that is having a problem that you may have "solved".
As caregivers "we" are isolated enough as it is adding "self imposed isolation or mandated isolation" on top of that is not good mentally. I have seen many friends decline over the past 18 to 24 months. I can only think that isolation did not help.
This forum is great, on line groups are great BUT neither has the human connection that meeting with a group has.
We are not meant to be solo creatures we need the contact and connection with others.
If a group is not possible at least connect with friends and meet with them in person. One of the things that happened to me as a caregiver is that friends stopped asking me to meet them for lunch, dinner, go for coffee because I was busy taking care of my Husband this isolated me even further. Getting caregivers to help me allowed me to reconnect and helped keep me sane. (although that might be up for debate, the sanity part)
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david2022 Apr 2022
"We are not meant to be solo creatures we need the contact and connection with others." - very much agreed.
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David2022, I agree with Grandma1954 and funkygrandma59. If at all possible, attend an in-person caregiver group. For the reasons they mentioned.

I was new to the diagnosis of dementia for my wife. I contacted the ALZ hotline (or whatever it’s called) and was told about a caregiver group meeting near me. I attended the Dementia/Alz caregiver group once a month before covid shutdown came up. A caregiver (private pay) came to our house to be with my wife while I was out. At the first meeting, I left wondering why I even attended. But I went to the second meeting, got a little more out of it. Third month, “Hey! This is pretty interesting.” After that, they couldn’t keep me away.

There was only one rule at the meeting. What was talked about there was not to be discussed outside of the meeting with anyone.
Some people came for one or two meetings, others had been attending for many months. I got a lot of information from the people and got respite time also.

For me, in-person meetings worked. Others don’t have time or don’t care to meet that way. That’s fine. I say “What works, works.”
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david2022 Apr 2022
Thank you for the encouragement to attend an in-person group.

It's very interesting that you went from "wondering why I even attended" to "After that, they couldn’t keep me away" in about 3 meetings. If you don't mind sharing, how did that happen, how did it grow on you?
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I would imagine most caregivers like me have no time or energy for another meeting or appointment.

This forum has done more for me than I could explain. It has given me friends living the same life. I have received very good advice and been able to give in return.
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Pick a "condition" and there is a "Foundation or Association" for it. They all have lists of "approved" Support Groups. Most Senior Centers have Support Groups that anyone can join. Many Assisted Living, Memory Care Communities have Support Groups that will welcome anyone. (obviously with the hope that you may eventually place your loved one there)
Some Churches or other houses of worship have support groups as well.
The Support Group that I attended for many years was discontinued when COVID started and talking to members of the group my friend and I decided that we would start it up again. So we found a location and started making calls. It is a "Peer driven support group" and it is what many need at this time.
So moral of the story here is if there is not a group and you think there is a need START one.!
There are many Support Groups on line as well.
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david2022 Apr 2022
Thank you for the ideas, and for the encouragement to start a new one if needed!
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Good Morning,

I find in my neck of the woods that most of the Caregiver Support Groups are held at Assisted Livings and/or Medical Facilities. The last thing anyone of us needs to do is go to another medical office. To me that would not be a night out. I think if small group neighborhood gatherings were held in a local Cafe, coffee shop, bookstore, etc. a suitable environment that would be conducive to looking forward to attending as opposed to another medical appointment.

However, these groups could be advertised in doctor's offices. A lot of Elder Attorneys host caregiver groups at Assisted Livings. That can be a good thing for people who are starting out and need advice.

You could start your own, perhaps a conference room at a library or Church hall.
They are definitely needed. The Pandemic everything needed to be done online but it's nice if you host a meeting in your neighborhood then when you go to the local supermarket you run into other members.

I belong to my local Church prayer chain. Each week they call me 2-3 times with prayer requests. This week I am having 2 members over for coffee. These are people you can confide in who don't gossip and are of the same Faith. For me this works! Amen...
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david2022 Apr 2022
I agree that it would be best to hold them in casual non-medical settings as you suggested. Thank you for the ideas and encouragement.
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I've found my support from folks online. I have been part of a group of pastor's wives for years and many of us have transitioned to a different life than when we first met up online in the 90s. Divorce, death, illness -- many are no longer married to pastors but we still find support for each other online. And over the years, many have been in the role of caregiver. Don't rule out the support you can get online, just having someone to talk to helps so very much.

For me, getting out the house to attend a caregiver's support group would only complicate things, so online is a better option for me.
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