Do some of you have places you go to meet and connect with other caregivers on a regular basis?

Yes, David.
You are here, on the Aging Care Forum, where caregivers meet daily, 24/7.

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all your generous responses to my post. I’m new to this community and am pretty blown away by the thoughtfulness and breadth of your responses. I really appreciate it. This is quite a vibrant community.

You’ve given me (and everyone) a lot of great ideas and I will explore them and see where they lead. If I find new resources that may be of value to others here, I’ll post them to this thread as well.

I did find two additional online caregiver support groups on Facebook. I thought I would share them here in case you’re interested. Both of them require approval to join, but it wasn’t hard to get approved.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/103001490399094
https://www.facebook.com/groups/CaregiversHubSupportGroup

Perhaps we can treat this as an ongoing conversation and add new thoughts and ideas to this thread as they come up.

The Alzheimer's Dementia Caregiver's FB Support Group is a Godsend:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportgroup/?ref=share

Oh , there is so much help out there. You would be surprised. there are Caretakers meetings for just about everything these days. Some on line now and others in person. They are very helpful . I happen to live with someone that has dementia. It is a painful thing to watch and live with. It is not only heart breaking its tremendously stressful . Years ago I spent a lot of years in Al-Anon. A lot of what I learned there can be used when facing Caratakers issues. It is such a personal issue. Judgement has to be left out of it . The more you know about what you are dealing with the better you can make a decision on how much you can help. If dealing with the elderly you could contact you Local “Council on Aging. “ . The most important thing ( as far as I am concerned )is taking care of your self both physically and mentally. I have nothing but praise for the information and support I have received from the Alzheimers Association. They offer so many resources to help with what I am dealing with .. There is help out there you just have to seek it out ..

For those of you that can find time, and want to, to attend a c/g meeting but need someone to stay with your LO while you’re away, contact the Alzheimer Organization (www.alz.org) to see about funding to pay for the aide. It may be too late in the year already to receive any grant but still worth a try.

In a previous post I said I used private pay to pay for the aide coming in while I attended meetings, I neglected to state I was reimbursed by a grant.

I’m starting to question my own memory loss: My wife was able to stay by herself when I attended the meetings. It was at one of the meetings I heard of grants available for respite care. I was later able to use a grant to pay for respite care during covid.

Clear as mud, right? Lol.

I would check with your local Commission on Aging. I know the one I work with has a monthly caregiver support group. They may even have a program or adult day service where you could get much needed respite care.
Good luck finding support, I know caregiving is very difficult.

Iam in a caregiver support group that meets twice a month at different times, 1 is held in an assisted living facility and the other in a church. 1 is for Alz and the other for Dementia and I go to both. The lady that runs both of them is a retired nurse and has a lot of experience and is a great support as she helps answer questions, has suggestions etc. It is nice to be able to talk and listen to others that are caregivers that are in the same situation as I am plus it gives me some free time away.

Google "(fill in the blank) Support Group" which usually brings you to a community resource finder which then asks which zip code you're in, and if you want to meet In Person, Online or by Phone/Webinar.

I Googled "Alzheimer's Support Group" to get my research going. Two caregiver friends of mine Googled "Parkinson's Support Group near me", and another Googled "Autism Support Groups for Parents".

Groups of every kind are all over the place.

I went to 2 before Covid hit and it was at the second place that I met someone who told me about the third place which turned out to be the better fit for me. Insight Memory Care Center (IMCC). We Zoom meet every Thursday at 2 PM. They are located in Fairfax VA (and just opened another site in Sterling VA) but there are Zoom participants that join in from out-of-state. The Zoom meeting are very comfortable. The members are likeable, adult, goodhearted and supportive. It is very well lead by highly credentialed normal people.
It has been praised by tons of people not only for their group meetings but for their on site programs. They are genuinely unique and incredibly giving of information, resources and time.
You should give it a try to see the standard by which other support groups should be held to.

david2022: Ideally, that would be quite opportune. However, since every caregiver's story is unique, it may not be feasible across the board. Ex caregivers like myself had to perform out of state caregiving. many caregivers would not have the time to pursue one more 'task,' if you will and some may not find a support group of interest.

There are support groups that are called Circles at Daughterhood.org that meet both in person and virtually across the Nation. Go to their website and you will find the list there.

Also, Leeza's Care Connection, leezascareconnection.org has a variety of support groups and resources for caregivers both virtually and in person.

Hilarity For Charity has dementia specific support groups for every age range that meet virtually.

There are Caregiver meetings/get togethers here but they are all at night and I don't drive at night.

I have never been much into support groups, as such. For me, they consume a lot of energy and gobble up yet another appointment slot in my already-packed schedule. However, there is a lot to be said for casual chat with other caregivers. There were several things in my mother's schedule that included such chance meetings.

When I would take her to luncheons with her friends, there were other women (and one man) who attended via a caregiver. We didn't exactly chat with each other, merely smiled to each other as our elders made their sometimes wacky conversations. There was a certain comradeship in sharing the time with each other and our elders but this was not really a participatory time.

Taking Mom to her water exercise class was quite different. While the elderly did their exercises in the pool, those of us who transported them gathered in pool-side chairs and tables and talked. In my mind these talks were much better than a support group because it was so un-pressured and informal. Usually the chat had nothing to do with actual care-giving. It was simply the chat of very different people who had one thing in common: we cared for an elder who could no longer drive and often needed help with other aspects of daily life. Most of us struggled with storing/transporting walkers, wheel chairs, electric scooter, etc.

Similarly, when taking Mom to senior center classes there were often other transporters who would sit in the common room and chat for the half hour of the class. I found these to be restful and reassuring. There was the small comfort of sharing a predicament with others and casual chat about normal life that happened to include the care of another human being. That sense of "normalness" was quite restorative in a way that a "support group" is not.

For some, I am sure that there is value in the structured setting of sitting in a circle and "sharing" experiences. For others, myself included, it seems much more supportive and natural to simply meet with others as a natural part of waiting for Mom while she was doing things that interested her. In the years that I was taking my mother to various activities I found that waiting for her while she did her 30-60 minute activities quite restorative. There was nothing to prepare, no special appointments. I and others like me simply showed up as part of our elder's lives. We grew to know each other and enjoy the acquaintanceships as part of our caregiving.

So often caregivers express a loneliness, both their own and that of their elder. Getting the elders involved in group activities ends up being quite rewarding for them and us. In my case it was particularly rewarding and restful as I didn't even have to sign Mom up for these things. One sister, a retired school teacher, was very good at organizing such things. For those of you who have a relative or inlaw who wants to "do" something, but is not local or can't be physically involved, it may be a good thing to let them be in charge of some activities. Let them know your schedule and let them talk over the possibilities with your elder. In our case all it took was for the coordinating sister to request a catalog of senior events and classes from the Parks and Recreation for the nearest town. Mom was a rural resident and had to pay out-of-district prices, but even with that, the costs were quite reasonable.

Vegaslady hit it right on with her suggestion on the local Area Agency on Aging, which in my case was through my county. I could choose from several different Zoom support group meetings. They offer many other ways to support as well, but Zoom worked well for me.

I feel the same as in where to go. My dad is in AL. It would be great to have a zoom call 1-2x/ month.

Check with your local Alzheimer’s Association

Start your own group. Go on Craig's list, or next door app, or there are caregiver apps you can download, and put on your phone.
You can also set up a meeting at a restaurant somewhere. Or maybe contact local churches. Maybe they have one. Good luck.

There's a Newsletter for caregivers that you can receive daily.... Caregiver Newsletter <newsletters@caregiver.com>

Also this group holds annual in-person/Zoom caregiver 1-day meetings (called Fearless Caregiving Conference) throughout the country free to caregivers, where local vendors for caregiving come to share their services.

I think Facebook has support groups for caregivers, but I'm not sure. When I was taking care of my mom, when she had Alzheimer's, I joined a phone support group for a few weeks, towards the end of things. I, like so many other caregivers, didn't have the time to go to an official support group. If I had half an hour to spare, when Hubby was watching my mom, I'd walk to a neighbor's, and we'd chat for a few minutes. Since she had Alzheimer's in her family, we could commiserate with one another. The exercise helped too. The phone group that I chatted with "met" at night, (I think once every 2 weeks), when my mom was safely situated in bed. (I think it was through the Alzheimer's Association.) I even wrote a book about taking care of my mom called, "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale." I realized that my once broad life was reduced to the pressing health concerns of my mom and dog. This forum too, is really good, because you can look at the responses at your leisure.

I would imagine most caregivers like me have no time or energy for another meeting or appointment.

This forum has done more for me than I could explain. It has given me friends living the same life. I have received very good advice and been able to give in return.

The Alzheimer's Association has excellent resources for caregivers and support groups even for non-Alzheimer's situations.

Good Morning,

I find in my neck of the woods that most of the Caregiver Support Groups are held at Assisted Livings and/or Medical Facilities. The last thing anyone of us needs to do is go to another medical office. To me that would not be a night out. I think if small group neighborhood gatherings were held in a local Cafe, coffee shop, bookstore, etc. a suitable environment that would be conducive to looking forward to attending as opposed to another medical appointment.

However, these groups could be advertised in doctor's offices. A lot of Elder Attorneys host caregiver groups at Assisted Livings. That can be a good thing for people who are starting out and need advice.

You could start your own, perhaps a conference room at a library or Church hall.
They are definitely needed. The Pandemic everything needed to be done online but it's nice if you host a meeting in your neighborhood then when you go to the local supermarket you run into other members.

I belong to my local Church prayer chain. Each week they call me 2-3 times with prayer requests. This week I am having 2 members over for coffee. These are people you can confide in who don't gossip and are of the same Faith. For me this works! Amen...

I think it's under the Discussion section of this forum: a member just posted info about a live chat for caregivers. Take a peek. If you can't find it, let us know. Someone will better direct you to the info.

David2022, I agree with Grandma1954 and funkygrandma59. If at all possible, attend an in-person caregiver group. For the reasons they mentioned.

I was new to the diagnosis of dementia for my wife. I contacted the ALZ hotline (or whatever it’s called) and was told about a caregiver group meeting near me. I attended the Dementia/Alz caregiver group once a month before covid shutdown came up. A caregiver (private pay) came to our house to be with my wife while I was out. At the first meeting, I left wondering why I even attended. But I went to the second meeting, got a little more out of it. Third month, “Hey! This is pretty interesting.” After that, they couldn’t keep me away.

There was only one rule at the meeting. What was talked about there was not to be discussed outside of the meeting with anyone.
Some people came for one or two meetings, others had been attending for many months. I got a lot of information from the people and got respite time also.

For me, in-person meetings worked. Others don’t have time or don’t care to meet that way. That’s fine. I say “What works, works.”

Thankfully we have a local caregiver support group that has been meeting twice a week for years. I found them online 4 years ago, when I was at my breaking point while caring for my husband. They saved my life, and are such an important of my caregiving journey, and now that my husband has been dead for over a year and a half, I still go to try and help others who are still in the throes of caregiving.
They of course had to start meeting on Zoom 2 years ago because of Covid, but just a month ago started meeting back in person.
You cannot put a price on this kind of support group, as it's vitally important for the caregiver to get the support they need and to not feel all alone.
No one understands better what we caregivers go through, than another caregiver who has walked or is walking in your shoes.
You're right. We need more support groups for caregivers. Ones like the one I attend that meets weekly and where everyone gets a chance to talk and share with the rest of the group exactly what they're going through. It's a game changer for sure and in my case, a life saver as well.

Tynagh, Perk4me, and others that don't have the time for a Support Group or a half dozen other reasons let me put this out.
Getting a caregiver in for a few hours 1 time a month will give you a bit of a break that is well deserved and important to your mental well being.
It will get you out of the house and your loved one will be just fine with someone else taking care of them for a few hours. They may even benefit from someone else staying with them for a few hours.
The communication with others is important. As well as getting to express what you are going through. And there may be some that have gone through what you are dealing with n ow and you may help someone that is having a problem that you may have "solved".
As caregivers "we" are isolated enough as it is adding "self imposed isolation or mandated isolation" on top of that is not good mentally. I have seen many friends decline over the past 18 to 24 months. I can only think that isolation did not help.
This forum is great, on line groups are great BUT neither has the human connection that meeting with a group has.
We are not meant to be solo creatures we need the contact and connection with others.
If a group is not possible at least connect with friends and meet with them in person. One of the things that happened to me as a caregiver is that friends stopped asking me to meet them for lunch, dinner, go for coffee because I was busy taking care of my Husband this isolated me even further. Getting caregivers to help me allowed me to reconnect and helped keep me sane. (although that might be up for debate, the sanity part)

I've found my support from folks online. I have been part of a group of pastor's wives for years and many of us have transitioned to a different life than when we first met up online in the 90s. Divorce, death, illness -- many are no longer married to pastors but we still find support for each other online. And over the years, many have been in the role of caregiver. Don't rule out the support you can get online, just having someone to talk to helps so very much.

For me, getting out the house to attend a caregiver's support group would only complicate things, so online is a better option for me.

It's a sweet thought, but after spending every waking moment tending to the needs of someone that doesn't appreciate or care....I just don't have it in me to meet up and talk about it. As it is now 1:30 am and I'm just now reading through these posts....I can't imagine most people have the time or mental energy to do anything other than whats absolutely necessary before collasping.

I'm going to postulate that most caregivers don't have the free time to escape to an in-person meeting, though it's a lovely idea .

Pick a "condition" and there is a "Foundation or Association" for it. They all have lists of "approved" Support Groups. Most Senior Centers have Support Groups that anyone can join. Many Assisted Living, Memory Care Communities have Support Groups that will welcome anyone. (obviously with the hope that you may eventually place your loved one there)
Some Churches or other houses of worship have support groups as well.
The Support Group that I attended for many years was discontinued when COVID started and talking to members of the group my friend and I decided that we would start it up again. So we found a location and started making calls. It is a "Peer driven support group" and it is what many need at this time.
So moral of the story here is if there is not a group and you think there is a need START one.!
There are many Support Groups on line as well.

A lot of support groups are meeting on Zoom. If there are specific health issues in play check with the national organizations for support groups. You can also check with your local Agency Area on Aging.