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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I find these posts helpful from MY point of view, but I'd like to know what my folks could read that would make them feel more upbeat about this. THIS forum would be TERRIBLE, you know? Kim
I actually think this is a good forum for all to read. This gives a good reason to plan your future. Does not matter if you have 2 years or fewer left or 20 or more. We all cope with the same questions. How am I going to get care, who am I giving care to, how can I prevent the relationship I have with son, daughter DIL, SIL and anyone else from going bad. Sure a lot of the posts are not "upbeat" but they are filled with information. If your parents read how so many struggle when plans are not made, when there is a refusal to get help, accept help it might make them realize that when the time comes they need to accept help when they may not think they need it.
I appreciate your views, gave me some insight. I would like to add a few things you may not have thought of. Some seniors have plans for the future that includes planning for a life on their own and adjust to their limitations better than others.
Many seniors do realize that someday they will need help. However, no one likes being pushed into senior care before they want to go. The courts have the responsibility of having you declared incompetent to make decisions regarding your choices of lifestyle. If you can take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally, no one should be coercing you to have every last plan and contingency for the future ready and waiting just for the benefit of caregivers.
Some of the caregiver stories here are absolutely horrible. I'm sure there are potential caregivers who feel that the possibilities of mishaps and problems will ruin their own lives. Bitterness, aggrieviation, resentment and financial problems seem to be the norm in many caregiver relationships. I do realize that not all people are able to function well as caregivers.
I would love to hear some success stories. People who take on the tasks of caregiving are surely to be commended for their sacrifices. Releasing tensions and venting is the name of the game on this website. And yes, handling burnout is a problem. Surely, there must be a category somewhere in this website for people who have come through these experiences without losing their minds. If you have any information, please pass it on.
I think there are a lot of elders on here, most often elders caring for other elders, or who used to care for other elders. I find this forum to be very helpful, both as a caregiver and as an elder. And I'm not sure that most of us necessarily care for elders with dementia. Some are care giving for others with physical ailments. Some have concerns around finances, downsizing, legal matters, or best types of living arrangements/facilities. Perhaps surprising to me, a lot of people post about toxic family relationships, narcissistic parent(s), evil siblings, etc., which in some cases really has not much to do with caregiving per se. We're an eclectic bunch!
Unless an elder likes living in denial, then this forum would be perfect for them TO read, in my opinion. Why shouldn't they know how the children feel as caregivers, and how planning for their future is SO very important, how Assisted Living is a much better answer than moving in with their kids, etc etc? Not to mention, most of us who post here ARE pretty elderly ourselves!
If your folks were to sign up for AgingCare, they'd likely learn an awful lot about how to properly plan for their old age and how to keep their relationships with their children on GOOD terms!!
I am an "elder", I am 88 years old. I think this forum is great. One of the things I appreciate about it, is being able to let you "youngins" how we feel. So many times, I get the idea that younger caregivers see things from their point of view, not our point of view. Since it is for caregivers, I am a caregiver, I am caring for my husband who is 90 with Alzheimer's.
I am 80. My partner 82. I am not only not upset, but I am participating. Those who cannot participate will not participate and are unlikely to be hurt. Also to be noted is that most of us, like you, have assumed names. So it is quite unlikely that the elders, me included, would recognize ourselves!
I think you know your folks better than anybody else. Other posts have indicated that this forum is good for everybody. In some ways that may be true, depending on what someone needs to face. However, if you are trying to help someone "feel more upbeat", I think you are looking for something other than the unvarnished truth from caregivers who sometimes need to vent. Maybe look for a well-moderated forum elsewhere that is directed to seniors. Perhaps AARP, or google for senior discussion groups. That is assuming your folks are able and willing to participate. Otherwise, it is up to you to find information to selectively share with them.
No, we don't have a forum for Elders just the Caregivers. Most of us care for those with Dementia. We have had a few Elders chime in but mainly for help to find resources.
Hi Kim There are a number of us who were caregivers and elders (I am 84 and was a caregiver until 3 years ago). And a number of us are upbeat I think, We do post about our lives and are chatty in several places.
What in particular would you like your parents to feel more upbeat about? Anyone can start a discussion or ask a question as long as it is relevant to aging and care.
missswiss/Kim: I am a 75 year old elder myself. My caregiving has ended. I provided care for my late mother in her home seven states away from my own as my late mother was adamant about remaining in her own home. I generally am a "glass half full" individual. What are you hoping that your parents could garner from any post of this forum?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
This gives a good reason to plan your future. Does not matter if you have 2 years or fewer left or 20 or more. We all cope with the same questions.
How am I going to get care, who am I giving care to, how can I prevent the relationship I have with son, daughter DIL, SIL and anyone else from going bad.
Sure a lot of the posts are not "upbeat" but they are filled with information.
If your parents read how so many struggle when plans are not made, when there is a refusal to get help, accept help it might make them realize that when the time comes they need to accept help when they may not think they need it.
I appreciate your views, gave me some insight. I would like to add a few things you may not have thought of. Some seniors have plans for the future that includes planning for a life on their own and adjust to their limitations better than others.
Many seniors do realize that someday they will need help. However, no one likes being pushed into senior care before they want to go. The courts have the responsibility of having you declared incompetent to make decisions regarding your choices of lifestyle. If you can take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally, no one should be coercing you to have every last plan and contingency for the future ready and waiting just for the benefit of caregivers.
Some of the caregiver stories here are absolutely horrible. I'm sure there are potential caregivers who feel that the possibilities of mishaps and problems will ruin their own lives. Bitterness, aggrieviation, resentment and financial problems seem to be the norm in many caregiver relationships. I do realize that not all people are able to function well as caregivers.
I would love to hear some success stories. People who take on the tasks of caregiving are surely to be commended for their sacrifices. Releasing tensions and venting is the name of the game on this website. And yes, handling burnout is a problem. Surely, there must be a category somewhere in this website for people who have come through these experiences without losing their minds. If you have any information, please pass it on.
Northern California Gal
If your folks were to sign up for AgingCare, they'd likely learn an awful lot about how to properly plan for their old age and how to keep their relationships with their children on GOOD terms!!
What in particular would you like your parents to feel more upbeat about? Anyone can start a discussion or ask a question as long as it is relevant to aging and care.
super sweet, super kind.
i wish all that love to flow towards you.
:)