My mom has had dementia for three years she is now bedridden and is semi conscious she has to be fed and cared for in every way. Hospice thinks she's dying now the doctors has ordered to stop feeding her even though she eats without a feeding tube is this legal?
Yes, talk with the doctor for answers, but don't be afraid to challenge him & his assumptions, etc.
Please let us know what happens. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
I learned that the body, when dying, doesnt really need food. However, patients may ask to eat, thinking they are feeling hungry when possibly feeling discomfort in the abdominal area. Depending on the condition of Mom's body, feeding her, even small amounts, will prolong the time until the inevitable end of life. Also, the body does not process food well which raises the opportunity for constipation, possible impaction and the very unpleasant possibility of the nurses having to assist your Mom to have a bowel movement.
This is all so very foreign and difficult, I know. That is why I urge a full conversation with the doctor on exactly what he sees and what he is thinking. Also, if you have hospice nurses, they are wonderful at taking all the time you need to answer any question you have, however many times you need to ask it for reassurance that you are doing right by your Mother.
If, after you have all the information you can gather, you still choose to give Mom small amounts of food when she asks, I would feed her: again being sure there is no problem swallowing, which could lead to aspiration or medical complication of which you are not presently aware.
As for the "legality" of stopping food, only an attorney can answer for sure, but I would strongly believe the doctor is not going to order anything for which he would be criminally liable. His order may actually be an act of kindness if your Mother is truly near the end of her life. Having witnessed a prolonged, slow dying process with my own Mother, it was agonizing to watch her literally whither away until her body was simply unable to sustain life.
It is a devastatingly hard process for both the dying and the one who loves and watches. Good luck to you both. You have my very best wishes.
If this was my mom, I would like logical reasons as to why they would stop feeding her when she is eating on her own. It took the NH many different ways to get her to eat. Mom lost 25 pounds when she was not eating. ( 125 down to 99.) It just the psychological set back she was having.
Although, when you know you are dying your body is shutting down eventually and hunger is not on your mind. But until then it's cruel to not bring them food if they can eat on there own.
Equinox