My Mom, who has Alzheimer"s,stayed in a nursing home for 10 days, while my husband and I went on vacation. When we got back we went to see her because she was going to stay a total of 18 days. For some reason at the end of the visit my husband said to look at her feet. When we did one of her toes were black. She does not talk so she could not tell them that her foot hurt. We asked the nurse and she did not know anything about it. We took her to ER and she was in the hospital for 10 days and is now home in a hospital bed with constant care and now one of the other toes is turning black. Now the Dr wants to call in Hospice. Just because of neglect at the nursing home. What would you do?
I'm sure sorry this happened to your mother. What stage of AD was she in when you took her to the nursing home? Does she have any other medical problems such as diabetes?
Gosh yes I would call in Hospice rather than watch the toes fall off. The pro is that you do not do surgery or aggressive treatment. The patient gets morphine and other drugs as needed. The con: having to accept that this is the end of the road and nothing more will be done. Having to repress your desire to call 911 or rush her to her MD is very hard to accept. Having to tell family that she is on Hospice and dealing with their reactions. Writing the obit and planning the funeral is a weepy time. At least Hospice will be there to keep you calm. For us, they were angels, guidance, counselors and comrades.
I'd want to know her diagnosis and what we were dealing with. I'd look at mom's overall quality of life BEFORE this happened and then want to know what life-saving measures would actually do to improve her condition. And what these procedures would cost her in discomfort and pain. If there was no pay-off, I'd concur with the doctor and call in hospice.
And that is SUCH an over-simplification, I can't even tell you. We know nothing about your mom...except I assume you love her and want the best for her.
What I would do: Call hospice. Opt to not run around to Dr.'s, opt out of a possible amputation surgery for your mom's toes. Opt out of any kind of therapy/procedure that will prolong her life. If it were my mom that's what I'd do. I did it for my dad.