Does anyone else wake up in your sleep thinking that you've been called?

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Does anyone else wake up in your sleep thinking that you've been called?

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Every night, around 3 or 4 am, I wake up and jump out of bed thinking I hear my mom calling me. I wake up suddenly, zoom into her room and see that she is sound asleep. It's been happening every single night for like 2 weeks. I go back into my room and see that my covers are on the floor. I threw them completely off of me to get up as soon as possible. Happens every. single. night.

Burnout Family Caregiver Sleep Issues Stress

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It has happen to be before I would freak out wondering how long had she been calling me and when I get there she was fast asleep or I would wake her when I entered the room and she would ask me if I was ok 🤦🏽‍♀️ she would always says she didn’t call me but I swore I heard her .Or like another commenter I would hear someone scream in my ear and wake up suddenly.It doesn’t happen as much now definitely in times of great stress.Hope you can get some rest I know it’s tough we are always worried and want to be there when we are needed.

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I think it's universal after reading all these replies. I have actually heard a man's voice loudly shout me awake with a very loud "Get Up". I don't know why this happens every so often but it's never my mother waking up and it's almost supernatural! Someone from beyond definitely has a strange sense of humor!

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Yes. Glad to know I'm not alone on this. I think at some point as caregivers we never really go into deep sleep but always have an ear open.

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I experience the exact same thing. I wake up at least 3 or 4 times a night because I hear mom calling me. I get up and check on her, but she's asleep. I finally figured out she calls my name in her sleep. It's weird. When she wakes she never remembers calling me either.

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Yes my father has done this at 2am or 3am calling my name out repeatedly from the bottom of the stairs. When i go to him he says he cant breathe and he thinks he is going to die. He is 83 with vascular dementia. Its scary when it happens. Sometimes he will shout in his sleep or bang things like doors etc. Its scary but what can i do. He doesn't know he is doing it. I dont have a good relationship with him which makes things a million times worse. He irritates me so much.

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Because it is nightly, you may be like me, experiencing severe stress. (I am 75.) Stress causes an increase in a hormone called Cortisol, which peaks in most people around 3:15 or so am, who wake up and don't know exactly why. Since my husband's stroke back in 2000, I have dealt with the same issue you describe. After a bout of pneumonia in 2017, he was sent to a nursing home for two months because all of the damage from the initial stroke had returned. He is now bedridden, on a feeding tube, and incontinent, and still my sweet husband even with transient (vascular) dementia. I have been his sole caregiver for two years. BUT, I have a new lease on life and energy to take care of him for a couple of more years! I visited an endocrinologist two month ago and explained my 3:15 arousals. I was prescribed appropriate meds and I am happy to say I now get about 6 hours of quality sleep, going to bed after husband's sundowning is over. If you're on real Medicare and in charge of your own care, find a quality endocrinologist and tell him/her about your 3 am arousal. If not, insist that your GP pay attention to this classic symptom and do something about it. Good luck.

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I have been half-sleeping for years. Even when I haven't been living in my parents' home, I used to sleep with my phone under my pillow, waiting for it to ring in the middle of the night for someone to call with an emergency. It happened somewhat regularly, so it became muscle memory.

Now, since my dad has passed, I'm living with my mom. She can't get in and out of bed well, so she typically calls me on my phone overnight... and now I feel like my wrist is always vibrating... even when my watch isn't on.

I've asked her not to call out for me but to use the phone because yelling through the house gives me sheer terror. But it seems that now, the phone buzzing is starting to do the same thing.

The floor mat sounds like a good idea, and I might look into that. I am not sure about you, but I don't think I want the baby monitor because she cries a lot at night, both awake and in her sleep. It would make me even more heartbroken than I already am given the loss of my dad, and I am not sure I'd get any sleep at all.

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Yep! It's a real thing. And sleeping soundly is a thing of the past. It can't be good for the body, but not really anything you can do about it.

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Some night's I would sleep on the floor beside Mother's bed,until she moved into the den the last 3 and a half years that she was on Hospice.Then I slept on the couch beside her every night while she slept in her liftchair.
Many times,she would wake up after having a bad dream or needing to go to the bathroom or needing some pain medicine in the night,so I got used to her waking up in the night,needing me.
Then I lost Mother almost 4 years ago,but I'm still sleeping on the couch,wishing I'd wake up and she'd be needing me again.

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You're a good daughter. Sleep well, you deserve it.

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No, but most nights I would hear her walker on the carpet in the hallway as I slept in my childhood bedroom. I usually went right back to sleep, though sometimes I could not and never slept a wink as I had pain. (I had to move there from my own state 7 states from mine on short notice, even though I needed foot surgery).

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While I was reading this, Mom yells from her room-right next to living room-I'M COLD. almost scared the poop out of me. But as far as the yelling, or calling out-I do think they do that in their sleep. With mine, I can never tell since she talks loud from her room most of the time. I have the opposite during the night and since she stays in bed most of the time when she is here-the deafening silence. (the silent treatment)
So, one way or the other mine does it for attention (yep maybe even in her sleep!)

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It happened to me once or twice. Maybe she'd been dreaming and shouted in her sleep? Equally likely, was the caregiver stress syndrome. I never slept well for the 5 years I lived with my mom to care for her. : (

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Yes - not every night though. I didn't realize this was so common with caregivers!

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Yes, this happens to me.

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Yes, but not every night like you. The first time, I heard a voice say my name, and then, "help me. I need to throw up." I hurried in to the room, but Mom was fast asleep. And she really doesn't have the vocal strength to call out and have me hear her. A similar thing happened the next night. I'm glad to know that this happens to someone else. I don't have a reason for it, unless I needed more sleep. After this happened, I stopped fighting the need to take a nap after breakfast when Mom returns to her room.

Also, I had bought a set of wireless door bells with 3 receivers and 3 or 4 buttons.
I attached one button to her bedside table, in front of the toilet in the bathroom, and she keeps one in her walker. I have a receiver in the garage, in the dining room, and outside my bedroom. The ringers and receivers work very well, and I rest easy. I do worry sometimes that Mom isn't ringing me when needed because she doesn't want to bother me. So we discuss that "being a bother" issue sometimes.

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I live with Mom (93) and have scattered portable marine airhorns (in a can) around this big old rambling house. They are in the bathrooms (on the floor in case of a fall), next to her bed, and next to her recliner. Sometimes she carries one in her rollator when not feeling well. They are great for getting my attention no matter where either one of us is located in the house - super loud. However, my heart pounds like crazy when I hear it at night. Sometimes I dream hearing it, but fortunately not too often. I've never been a mom, but I imagine the same thing happens when you dream the baby is crying.

I wish I had some advice on how to train yourself out of it, or a way to alleviate the anxiety. I hope it diminishes with time.

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Would have never thought of that. 🤔 hmmmm

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It’s almost like a form of PTSD. Your brain is always aware, always alert.

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Yep. : (

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I do this a lot. We bought my mother a bell and have considered electronic baby cam options, but some are a little invasive and expensive.

I always worry I won’t here if called and then I here when I’m not called. I was sick for a bout a week and had a high fever. One night I tripped and was very concerned I might make an appearance like the old koolaid man commercials.

they say stress and worry will do it, at least that’s what they tell me. It doesn’t help to know that though.

we use electric heaters, so I freeze because I leave my door open to be sure to here.

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You might try portable marine air horns - very loud. You can order them on Amazon. My mom's room is down two halls and we both sleep with the doors closed. No problem having it wake me up (and I'm slightly hard of hearing).

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Yes, that happened to me a lot when I lived with my mom. Now I just dream about her, that the assisted living place is taking her on a trip and she doesn't want to go, that she is afraid of something, that she is tired and it's too noisy for her to sleep, that there are too many people doing too many things around her, etc. And in these dreams I see her helpless face looking to me to make things right. I wake up in a panic and then cry.

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Yeah, I have had bad dreams since a child. Dreams are supposed to help us work things out. I don’t know if they do but I wake up feeling drained.

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Oh my yes! That happened to me all the time when my dad first moved in. He was still fairly mobile then and I worried he’d get up in the middle of the night so it was always in the back of my mind. Many times I audibly heard my name being called only to see he was asleep. I got a cloud cam for his room and now I can see and hear him from my phone. I plug in my phone and leave the app open all night. I keep the sound low enough not to hear him snoring but high enough to hear if he’s calling or moving around. It’s a lot easier to check him that way than getting out of bed. That sensation of hearing him call when he’s not has finally dissipated.

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I know what you are going through. When my 90 year old mother moved in with us in August, I got NO sleep for weeks. I heard all sorts of noises and would go to her bedroom door and peep in to find her sound asleep. Our dog even goes to her door during the night to check on her. I put a bell on her night stand for her to use if she needs help during the night. I still wake up several times though. Wish I had a solution for you. Take care.

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We bought a doorbell / call bell from Amazon. It works great! One bell is in our bedroom and the other is in the dining room. She has the call button. It’s great when we are in a different part of the house. It also give privacy a baby monitor doesn’t.

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We had been experiencing a lot of late night calls from my mom for the past couple of years. Hence, I have been experiencing a great deal of insomnia. Two months ago, my mom went into a wonderful assisted living place and that helped. Unfortunately, we had an emergency 3 weeks ago that involved a late night ER visit and hospitalization. And sadly, my mom passed away 2 weeks ago. I still have dreams and several wake-ups a night; I'm always thinking that I'm getting a call or will be getting a call. I've been her caregiver for 15 years and prior to that, Dad's. I guess it takes a while to figure out the "new normal" and get your body and mind set back to a different clock.

But I totally understand what you are going thru.... Sorry I don't have an answer. Just know that you aren't the only one out there experiencing this.

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I am sorry to hear about your mother's death. My sympathies and wish for you to have a good night's sleep.
My mom is in a Memory Care facility but I am jolted out of a deep sleep 2-3 times a week thinking the phone rang. After several early morning falls that resulted in trips to the ER -- which happened over a year ago with none since. I wonder if I'll ever return to a normal sleep pattern.

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I think it’s all part of leading up to burning out. Being a full time caregiver can take every ounce of energy that we have. It can also cause emotional issues, not just imagining hearing them but depression and anxiety.

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I know the 3 o’clock hour well. When I get into the cycle a beloved wise man told me, “soothe yourself.” Before you jump out of bed, Lay quietly and listen for a problem. A tiny pause will really not make a difference if you are needed. Take a sip of water. If needed, and go to attend to the problem. Otherwise, I go with the thought “someone needs a bit of prayer.” In the quiet I say a short prayer offering it to anyone in need, even myself. There are great phone apps to pray along with like Discerning Hearts. I sometimes play soothing harp music and try to resettle. Audio books put me to sleep too. I learned that I have to remind myself that when jump up quickly I create commotion. I stir the pets, I fumble half alert, I stub my toes and lose the ability to resettle. It is hard — I don’t know the last time I slept through the night. Mom stays up late, she likes to talk and watch TV. I used to stay up too- but now I keep it short and pleasant. Yes, count me among the exhausted. I wouldn’t change my situation, but, oh how I value my morning time when she sleeps in a little.

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My mother used to put a baby monitor in her room, and my father's room so she would be able to see if he calls her..might be a good idea so you don't have to jump out of bed at night and wonder.

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When Mom returned home from rehab after breaking her hip, I bought a baby monitor to be able to hear her call out. What I heard mostly was her moaning and talking and shouting gibberish in her sleep! Try waking up to that!

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Yes. A plug in floor alarm was a godsend to our family in the care of my completely mobile healthy strong father in his bedroom. Dad had mild dementia that created multiple awakenings at night and wandering.. Dad needed assistance with using the portable potty. We Placed the floor alarm alongside his bed where his feet would hit when he would get up. The moment the alarm went off it woke me up and I was in his bedroom. As his dementia increased I slept in a separate bed in his bedroom and used the alarm. It always alerted me when his feet hit the floor. Amazon has a really good one. The portable alarm box can be taken into another bedroom or downstairs so easy to use. I carried it around with me when dad was taking a nap or in bed for the night. I can still hear the chime going off in my head. We used
The Floor Mat Alarm System for Preventing Falls & Wandering $139,95 Kerr Medical.on Amazon. They still have it available.

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I did not know these existed. I will tuck it away in the back of my head for future reference.

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It's stressful being a caregiver, and it pretty much destroys your own life if it keeps up for years and years. My mom recently died and I don't even know how to think straight without mom around. She has been total care 24/7 -- for 5 years. The last 3 months she was bedridden. Liver tumors killed her..not Alzheimer's. Irony if she were a walkie-talkie self caring person the same thing would have happened to her..she died age 90.

I do suggest getting a floor alarm mat. When the loved one (LO) steps on it, an alarm will be set off. I also suggest buying a FALL MAT. Most falls happen while getting out of bed and this would cushion the fall and help prevent broken bones and brain bleeds. Alarms will help relieve your anxiety..and they do work. I suggest getting the PLUG IN the wall floor alarm. I do not like bed alarms because they turn or move it will give off false alarms. The floor alarm is better. Once they put a little weight on it the alarm goes off.

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i agree A plug-in floor alarm is the best.

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I believe We as Carers never really get that deep sleep since We are so aware that We have the responsibility for a Life, and those Who We Care depend their Life on Us. I know when I cared for my Mother I always felt wrecked, exhausted in the mornings. I never once woke in the morning thinking wow I feel absolutely wonderful because I slept great last night. I felt that I always slept with one eye open all of the time and the slightest sound I always heard it. Sadly for me my Mother died in June 2016, Rip and I am no longer a Carer but tough as it is I would gladly do it all again.

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Yes happens to me w mom but happened all the time w dad since he had sundowning and was up all night but would occasionally fall and last time he fell at 3am outside the home (to pick up blown over garbage can)and I heard him screaming for help and rushed him to hispital ie broken hip and he died 2 months later after contracting Mrsa endocarditis in rehab. Traumatized by this.

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Does anyone else wake up in your sleep thinking that you've been called?

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