Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Yes. My father decided to stop it 7 years ago. Before he went onto dialysis, I looked up what to expect when he quit. Basically, they fall asleep and drown in their own fluids but as bad as that sounds, it is painless.
I stopped my father's medicines when he decided to quit. So instead of it taking 2+ weeks, he passed peacefully 5 days later.
It's a difficult decision for the family to accept but I promised my dad that the day he'd had enough, I would stand up for his right to quit. I invited the family in to say their farewells and he was gone within days. To me this was much better than a wake - he was able to visit with anyone who wished to stop by.
Honestly, it really is painless for the person. You can look that up.
My Aunt Edna was on dialysis for three years in her early 80s. When her dog died, she said he was the only reason she was staying alive and she wanted to go join him. She had no children, and her much older husband had passed years ago. We had a small good-bye party for her, and then nature took its course. She simply drifted into a coma and died after about a week. It was all very peaceful and I only hope my death can be as peaceful as that.
I honestly wish everyone could pass as peacefully as a person with kidney failure who refuses dialysis, as my mother and aunt did. Hospice is critically important, as they have been there and no exactly what to do.
Reno55, thank you; that's the word, I knew - but had forgotten till I saw your post - I'd heard of it - so do you think, is it possible that not everybody's BUN level elevates?
I think uremia caused by elevated BUN can be seen in kidney failure and can contribute to itchiness. It can sometimes be seen on the skin like a coating or frost
My dad passed away in hospice very peacefully 7 days after stopping dialysis. The first couple of days after stopping he was still talking but as the days passed he became weaker and eventually fell into a deep sleep-like state. On what turned out to be his last day alive the wonderful hospice nurse encouraged me to talk to him as he could hear me and she said he was on his journey. He passed 3 hours later.
I will say I was freaked out by the drowning in their own fluids as someone stated earlier - which is true, but it’s nothing like I expected it to be. As they said in hospice, he’ll just sort of fade away peacefully, and that’s exactly what happened. Good luck to you.
Reno55, thank you, maybe that's what was going on; does it not happen with everybody then? not sure if hallucinations is actually the right word, but didn't know what else to call it, but not just confabulations, not talking about talking, in that sense, she was having sensation of something eating, biting, crawling? on her skin causing her to just claw and scratch it I think to the point of tearing it causing it to bleed; horrible
My dad didn't have any hallucinations. He was actually thankful to be allowed the dignity of being able to choose when to stop the dialysis. He was on Hospice for 5 days and they gave him all the painkiller he needed for his shoulder pain. He said it was the first time he could remember having no pain.
As I said, I was with him in his final hour and he was overjoyed to see my mother come for him. And then he passed over.
I’ve not seen any hallucinations with withdrawing dialysis although I have heard that before dying, many folks have hallucinations. As a norm, not really. But everyone is different!
If BUN blood urea nitrogen is high, it can have an effect. Not sure about hallucinations, but it can cause confabulation where the person tells stories about things that are not true. It is not intentional deceiving, it is something they really believe
I think people with end-stage renal disease are lucky, if they have lived a good and productive life. They can decide to go at a time of their choice--after Christmas or a special birthday. My mother went into renal failure as a consequence of metastatic liver disease and passed away peacefully at age 80 after ten days. I am now the same age and hope I can be as fortunate.
My dear aunt, 94, fell one morning on her way to dialysis. She was hospitalized with several broken bones. A decision was made that she was not a candidate for surgery. She was placed in a rehab and was sent by a medivan for her usual dialysis. She was in so much pain. She would tell the staff to stop the dialysis. No one told her son until several episodes of missed or partial treatments. When my mom got word that her sister had been placed on hospice I traveled to see her. We had several days of long visits. She talked and talked and then would sleep. Finally she reached a stage where she was in obvious pain and hospice increased her medication. She would only rally for a few moments at a time after that. I estimate it was about two weeks that she was partially and then completely off dialysis. In one of our talks my aunt said “I guess I shouldn’t have told them to stop. “ She was a tough lady but dialysis on top of broken bones was just too much. I agree about not going it without assistance. She was in significant pain before her meds were increased towards the end. She would beg me for help. Once the meds were adjusted she just slept.
YES! I researched this before my father went onto dialysis.
What happens is the person basically drowns in his/her own fluids. No, it is not painful. They go into a deep sleep and never wake up. That said, I also stopped all Pop's medicines other than pain and memory and it allowed him to pass in 5 days. The usual time frame is about 2 weeks. In 48 hours, Pop remained in his bed and refused foods. He passed very peacefully - I was with him in his final moments.
I’m so glad you asked this very important and difficult question. I will add another voice to the suggestion to involve hospice care prior to discontinuing dialysis. Adequate medication to avoid discomfort is essential. Unfortunately I have some experience with this. My grandfather passed away from liver failure after the family was advised that dialysis would be troublesome, painful and difficult for him to withstand at his age, and due to the fact that his liver was already in a state of extreme dysfunction. (He probably should have already been on dialysis years before it got to that point, but he had been very fit mentally, and thus he had been making his own medical decisions. I’m sure he thought dialysis would be too annoying to have to deal with, and didn’t want to bother people to drive him to a dialysis center three times a week. But I doubt he had ever discussed it with anyone other than his doctor.) He was moved to hospice a couple of days later, but the interval was very painful and confusing for him, even with the hospital staff doing their best. Once he was at hospice, they made him comfortable immediately, and he passed on in peace two or three weeks after the move. The physical surroundings at the hospice were home-like and calming, he had around-the-clock company, and he was at peace, in no pain, with loving family by his side. I just wish the hospital doctor had been more open with us about the need for hospice care for adequate pain relief in the absence of dialysis. Maybe doctors are better about this nowadays with hospice care being discussed more openly. I hope so.
My father 92 past from kidney failure August 6, 2017. He never wanted dialysis, he went into hospice when his kidney function went below 20%. If he didn’t have gout his last days would have been easier. He stayed for a month or two once in hospice it went fast for me still trying to get my head around how quickly and peaceful he left. Hope this helps you on your journey.
My father past from kidney failure August 6, 2017. He never wanted dialysis, he went into hospice when his kidney function went below 20%. If he didn’t have gout his last days would have been easier. He stayed for a month or two once in hospice it went fast for me still trying to get my head around how quickly and peaceful he left. Hope this helps you on your journey.
Contact Hospice. They will help your Father, you and the rest of the family through this process. They will make sure he is comfortable and you all understand what will happen.
I would second the information that Shane has written. two weeks from stopping dialysis is a good estimate for the length of life expected. Many patients become so weak and tired that they just can't go on for weeks on end and just decide to do no more. i would never argue with a loved one who made this decision.
I know this is hard. My grandmother was 92 years old when she had a heart attack. She was also advised she needed dialysis. This happened towards the end of August by the middle of October she had passed away.
My aunts and uncles thought it would be too much for my grandmother. Also she didn't want any treatment. It is really hard. Hopefully a social worker or family therapist can help ensure this is what the patient truly wants.
Ask either the nephrologist or PCP for a Hospice referral. I was a dialysis nurse for many years and have some experience with this. Once dialysis is withheld and hospice is on board in my experience, one passed away in 1-2 weeks, but of course could be longer if the person can still urinate thus excrete toxins and fluid that collects during the dialysis treatments. The longest time I have seen is a month, but this is an exception. From what my patients families have told me, their loved ones passed quietly and were pain free with hospice as support. Please, please realize the need for hospice to provide all of you and especially the person end of life care. It’s often more difficult for the family once the patient comes to the point that they are tired of the dialysis process, which can be and often is an arduous procedure three times a week. I am sorry you and your loved one are at this juncture. But I know the decision to stop dialysis is never made lightly by the patient as they are unfortunately tired of being ill all the time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I stopped my father's medicines when he decided to quit. So instead of it taking 2+ weeks, he passed peacefully 5 days later.
It's a difficult decision for the family to accept but I promised my dad that the day he'd had enough, I would stand up for his right to quit. I invited the family in to say their farewells and he was gone within days. To me this was much better than a wake - he was able to visit with anyone who wished to stop by.
Honestly, it really is painless for the person. You can look that up.
I will say I was freaked out by the drowning in their own fluids as someone stated earlier - which is true, but it’s nothing like I expected it to be. As they said in hospice, he’ll just sort of fade away peacefully, and that’s exactly what happened. Good luck to you.
As I said, I was with him in his final hour and he was overjoyed to see my mother come for him. And then he passed over.
When my mom got word that her sister had been placed on hospice I traveled to see her. We had several days of long visits. She talked and talked and then would sleep. Finally she reached a stage where she was in obvious pain and hospice increased her medication. She would only rally for a few moments at a time after that.
I estimate it was about two weeks that she was partially and then completely off dialysis.
In one of our talks my aunt said “I guess I shouldn’t have told them to stop. “
She was a tough lady but dialysis on top of broken bones was just too much.
I agree about not going it without assistance. She was in significant pain before her meds were increased towards the end. She would beg me for help. Once the meds were adjusted she just slept.
What happens is the person basically drowns in his/her own fluids. No, it is not painful. They go into a deep sleep and never wake up. That said, I also stopped all Pop's medicines other than pain and memory and it allowed him to pass in 5 days. The usual time frame is about 2 weeks. In 48 hours, Pop remained in his bed and refused foods. He passed very peacefully - I was with him in his final moments.
They will help your Father, you and the rest of the family through this process. They will make sure he is comfortable and you all understand what will happen.
Many patients become so weak and tired that they just can't go on for weeks on end and just decide to do no more. i would never argue with a loved one who made this decision.
From their home page, go to the Patients tab, then choose A to Z Health Guide from the drop down menu, and you'll see a range of Dialysis topics.
I know this is hard. My grandmother was 92 years old when she had a heart attack. She was also advised she needed dialysis. This happened towards the end of August by the middle of October she had passed away.
My aunts and uncles thought it would be too much for my grandmother. Also she didn't want any treatment. It is really hard. Hopefully a social worker or family therapist can help ensure this is what the patient truly wants.
I was a dialysis nurse for many years and have some experience with this. Once dialysis is withheld and hospice is on board in my experience, one passed away in 1-2 weeks, but of course could be longer if the person can still urinate thus excrete toxins and fluid that collects during the dialysis treatments. The longest time I have seen is a month, but this is an exception.
From what my patients families have told me, their loved ones passed quietly and were pain free with hospice as support. Please, please realize the need for hospice to provide all of you and especially the person end of life care.
It’s often more difficult for the family once the patient comes to the point that they are tired of the dialysis process, which can be and often is an arduous procedure three times a week.
I am sorry you and your loved one are at this juncture. But I know the decision to stop dialysis is never made lightly by the patient as they are unfortunately tired of being ill all the time.