Mom wears hearing aids (volume can be adjusted and sometimes that is the issue but not always). It seems that I must get her total attention before speaking. That's ok when I am wanting to start up a conversation. However, when I don't get her attention and just want to make a comment of some sort (about the TV program or ask a quick question) and we are in close proximity, she almost always responds with "what?". I am so tired of repeating myself that sometimes I resort to "never mind" because it's not that important. I am totally frustrated! I would appreciate positive suggestions of how to help this dance.
Try signalling to her that you are about to say something so she can shift her focus to you and be ready to listen. Can you pause the TV? Maybe preface your comment with "Hey Mom I have a quick question," so that "What?" is the correct response.
They offered accessories for the hearing aids that included a device for someone else to wear that sends their voice into the hearing aid directly so that it had a better chance of standing out from competing sounds.
Not that ahe recognizes or admits that. With her dementia, Im not sure that trying to do hearing tests or hearing aids would go well.
She is in Memory Care now, but when she was with me alot of our conversations went
Me " Blah..."
Mom " What?"
Me " Blah.." but louder
Mom" you dont have to yell!"
Me: sigh and look at her and wait for her to answer the question
Mom: " do you need something?"
Repeat steps above......
Masks have been challenging, I think she was relying on facial cues alot; not realizing it, and it does muffle voices somewhat.
A hand on her arm to get attention. Speaking clearly and slowly. Wait to let her process, dont speak a paragraph at one time or aak multiple questions. But thats more the dementia not the hearing. They cant process much at a time. Ive had to learn to slow my speech.
Make sure to face the person. Sometimes the hearing aid can't catch sounds from behind as well as folks with unaided hearing.
Check batteries if it seems like the "what did you say" is happening a lot.
Make sure you mom wears her hearing aids whenever she is awake. The nerves for hearing need stimulation. If hearing aids are not worn, those nerves tend to deteriorate until the person does not hear at all.
Make sure ears are getting cleaned since built up ear wax interferes with hearing.
Just as folks get annual check-ups, dental check-ups, and vision check-ups - make sure that hearing and hearing aids get regular checkups as well.
Hearing loss is one of the most difficult things to deal with, I know. My mother refuses to get hearing aids & has had increasing hearing loss for 7 years now. Sometimes I find myself yelling to be heard, and then she'll ask why I'm yelling. Just for FUN mom, why else?
I once took her to the ENT doctor who pulled a plug of wax out of her ear the size of a quarter. Her hearing improved for about 3 months afterward. That was it. Then he prescribed Debrox to be put into her ear to dissolve the wax on a weekly basis. Not sure which was worse, in her opinion, the hearing loss or the application of the Debrox.
Sometimes, when I call her (she lives in a Memory Care ALF), she's mistakenly turned down the volume on her cordless phone & she can't hear a single word I'm saying. So I have to scream at the top of my lungs for her to TURN UP THE VOLUME ON THE PHONE. Which sometimes works, but not always.
When we go over for a window visit every Sunday, she's on a landline phone & we're on my cell phone set to speaker. She has the handset positioned at her neck instead of her ear, so she can't hear a word we're saying! We tell her about 100x to move the handset up to her ear, which she does for about 10 seconds, then moves it back down to her neck area.
The joys of hearing loss combined with dementia are endless for all concerned.
I hope you can get your mother's situation figured out. If not, wishing you the best of luck holding onto your patience.
My mom only has one hearing aid because her other ear cannot be helped with a hearing aid.
With my mom. it isn’t always the volume but the speed at which someone is speaking. Try speaking slower.
I discovered that my mom was reading lips as well so facing your mother may help too.
It is frustrating having to repeat. Sometimes I would write things down about certain things such as, “Coffee or tea? White bread or whole wheat? Ham or turkey?”
Aunt wears hearing aids, mom needs but with covid has not been able to be tested and fitted for aids.
Cadence of your voice and tone is very important. If they fail to understand me I find different words to convey the same thought. This does often help and be aware of background noise like the TV, a fan or whatever.
Be patient because conversations are so important. Phone calls are difficult but with aunt putting the phone on speaker seems to help a lot.
I encourage both to call friends and check in on them.
Keep ears and hearing aids clean, use debrox for ears, replace batteries often. Ask PCP to check for wax buildup.
These cost about fifty dollars and are used a lot in nursing homes and hospitals as the expensive hearing aides often get lost.
It can also be used with a phone or tv.