My 94 year old mother has occasional fecal incontinence. I am wondering how “occasional” it is when something else needs to be done.
She thinks I am crazy for suggesting any type of absorbent underwear that may help her. She is very “independent” and wants no help from anyone, especially her daughter (me).
It’s several times a week where she has fecal matter in her underwear. She wears the smallest daily panti-liner and when she goes in her pants, it doesn’t just stay in the liner. I am washing the remains out in the toilet and then washing underwear and clothes in hot soapy water in a bucket. Sterilizing the bucket and then washing the clothes in the machine.
I looked up on the forum and read several articles, but looking for suggestions from others. Are you all doing the same thing or are you using a disposable? I know it’s trial and error, but wondering what to start with? Thank You.
The baby diapers are paper thin, but they can hold a lot. The surface stays dry too. Baby diapers are made very differently than adult diapers. They are made a hundred times better.
Your mother should try pull-ups disposable underwear lined with a Poise pad. A panty liner is going to fall to pieces if a thimble-full of piss gets on it. They are not incontinence products. Throw those away. Poise pads.
See if your mom will try some flushable moistened wipes to help her clean up better. Sometimes people need more than toilet paper.
https://tranquilityproducts.com/product/tranquility-premium-overnight-disposable-absorbent-underwear-dau/
It doesn’t have the highest absorbency, but I found it to be the most reliable for urinary and fecal incontinence. There are very few products thst can handle fecal incontinence. My Mom really put products to the test.
It may be an inability to properly clean the perineal area(?) Depending in the problem it could be a matter of slight dietary modifications (more water, fruit,fiber) or a daily routine of hygiene products (wipes, sitz bath)
(There is a type of pull-up insert called a top liner that comes wider in the back designed specifically for fecal incontinence.)
Best wishes for resolution on your laundry issue. I remember well those days :( and I hope you find a routine that works for you.
Id say she would have more dignity with the women's absorbant underwear. I believe they are disposable.
You have to put your foot down. Too bad if she is independent. If she is then give her a chair at the sink and she can clean them. Bet that doesn't happen lol.
Remplacement all the underwear and remove the liners. Try the new underwear.
You have to put your foot down now. Good luck.
Then heavy padded panties
She refused depends.
But the time came when enough was enough; there is no honor down on the floor constantly cleaning some other person’s sh%t.
At the advice of her caregiver I tried diapers.
Whew! No more down on the floor cleaning.
There are washable absorbent underwear that are "newer" on the market. Some designed for bladder leaks but would absorb the moisture from a fecal accident. Two of the brand names I have found Knix and Conni there are lots more out there, "Google is your friend" here. She may have to still use an absorbent pad with the underwear as most are designed for bladder leaks and periods, where no pad is then used and neither might hold as much as you would get from a fecal leak.
If you mother refuses to wear them, you could try for some of the pads for incontinence.
A routine with miralax has helped my mom a lot plus removing all pepto bismal and imodium from her senior apartment. She was abusing both and pepto can cause constipation.
Aunt used Metamucil capsules & stool softeners.
Encourage them to toilet after every meal.
Remove all regular underwear from house.
If your mother needs her underwear cleaned of feces and fecal matter cleaned out of her shower, she's not "independent".
I'd stop pussyfooting around this. Call her doctor and tell her/him what is happening. Ask for advice. Follow it.
Remove all her underwear and replace them with pull-ups.
Make sure she's not taking immodium and laxatives both. My mother totally screwed up her bowels with her self-medication.
If her perineal muscles are weak, she can not control her bowel movements. She might be a candidate physical therapy. Her doctor w=can write a prescription.
In the meantime, she would probably benefit from pull-up type incontinence briefs. There are really pretty ones on the market that will not make her feel like she is wearing diapers. A bidet attachment to the toilet might also be a good investment. It will help make sure she is "cleaner" after every visit to the toilet. It will even help her to avoid UTIs.
To answer your question, it’s definitely not unreasonable to have her wear disposables. I understand what you’re going through.
And if she wants free help with this, she’s going to have to wear depends as opposed to a product meant to deal with the last day of a woman’s period.
Since despit her independence, she will not be scrubbing her own feces, she can go along with it willingly to be independent.