My mom is in an assisted living facility and I am going to move her in with me and she was totally agreeable with this. She has Alzheimer's. Tomorrow is moving day. Now she has stated to employees at the ALF she doesn't want to move. One of the administrators called the state in - because they don't want me to move her. I have durable POA. I know my mom will be better cared for in my home and won't be alone as much. I know she will be happy. If she voices to me she doesn't want to come I am going to tell her we need to give it a try. Weren't the people at the ALF wrong for doing this?
OK now what if the state takes this to court? Let's say the judge finds her incompetent and in need of 24/7 care. The judge can go so far as to remove all POA's and appoint an independent guardian for her.
I say let her stay where she is. She may have told you she was unhappy there only to get you to pay more attention to her. Very common. I hate to tell you how many people have taken their parents home only to find the complaining gets worse.
Many of us have first hand experience with this kind of thing. Good intentions and wonderful motives do not overcome the challenges of demenita.
If you have stated your plans to remove your mother and your mother has complained about this to the staff, they may feel an obligation to see that she is not "kidnapped" -- which is what taking a competent adult against her will would be.
And, no, POA does not give you authority over the person. See this good article about the role of the POA: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/things-you-can-and-cant-do-with-poa-152673.htm
I know that your heart is in the right place. I don't mean this as a criticism of you, but please, leave your mother where she is happy.
Please note not every Assisted Living and Nursing Homes is terrible, as I have seen you posted. So please don't keep using such a wide brush to paint them all as the same.
If she is not legally incompetent, then she gets to decide where to live. If she likes where she is, leave her be!!
Bringing her home as an experiment is, in my mind, thoughtless at best, cruel at worst.
As we said in my youth, help your mother bloom where she is planted now.
There must be more to this situation since the Assisted Living facility called in the State. The ALF normally wouldn't care if a tenant had moved, as there is always someone on the waiting list who wants to move in.
Moving Day can be delayed?
Most people do not comprehend the level of care that is needed in the home for a dementia patient. And the fact that the time, energy, expense, etc. increasing over time.
I suppose after you get her home the reality will sink in and then you can make other arrangements if needed.
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