Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Call your local area agency on aging, alz assoc. chapter and/or social services. They can give you some direction and explain your options. Let them know you are at the end of your rope now & they may act faster. Try not to make emotional decisions.
Who owns the house you are living in? If it's his house, you will have to be the one who moves out.
You say he is unable to move and is on a ventilator. Who takes care of him while you are at work? If he is as disabled as you say, he should be in a nursing home, and should be receiving medicaid and disability.
As hard as it is, you must inform him and all of his family that you are moving out. If the house is owned by him, tell them that you would be willing to put the house up for sale and stay until it is sold to help provide the money to put him into a nursing home or assisted living, but after that you will be gone.
Since you're working, you should be able to find an affordable apartment for yourself away from him. Do what you can to get him where he needs to be first, but buck up and take responsibility for getting yourself out of this situation.
You might check with an elder-law attorney. In your state you may be married by common law after 20years. You can also apply for Guardianship - or Medicaid on his behalf and make arrangements for him to go into a nursing home permanently. That is different from respite care. Finally, next time he is sick send him to the hospital and tell social services you can no longer care for him at home. This kind of medical event is frequently the necessary change agent you need. They will make the arrangements for him to go to a nursing home from the hospital. If the house is his then you might need to move out (check with an attorney to see what rights you have), but they can't send him back home if there is no one to care for him. Worst case scenario - just move out and notify his family. You do have rights, too. You are not trapped. You just don't know all of your options yet or aren't ready to implement one of them.
You do need to take care of yourself. If his family wants to take care of him or if he can pay someone for his care that is their choice. You have given the best you had and now it is time to make the changes you need to make in order to take care of yourself. It does not matter what your verbally abusive ex-boyfriend thinks of you once you move on with your own life.
i have talked to agency of aging / social services and they know first hand how mean he can be. they tried to get me respite care , but the funding or trained personal is not available. they have not be able to give me any legal advice. Seems like my only option is none. I have prayed about this and some days are ok, but then it gets heated and hurtful again. A friend told me once that i remind her of a shooting gallery , where i am the duck being shot at and with every shot i bounce back and go again in that direction until i am shot at again. Bing, Bing, Bing
thanks, i have thought about talking to a attorney, and think i will do that real soon just so my bases is covered. i was also told by someone to leave him at a hospital and not take him back home. but he has to have a reason to go to the hospital first. some one told me that he will think i am the worst person he has every known no matter what i do, even though i have given up my family and life to take care of him all these years . and i know they are right.
Don't think you are a bad person! This needs to be taken care of for his good and yours....It is still unclear as of who takes care of him during the day while you work....?
At any rate, try to get an attorney's advice asap....Get your life back!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Try not to make emotional decisions.
You say he is unable to move and is on a ventilator. Who takes care of him while you are at work? If he is as disabled as you say, he should be in a nursing home, and should be receiving medicaid and disability.
As hard as it is, you must inform him and all of his family that you are moving out. If the house is owned by him, tell them that you would be willing to put the house up for sale and stay until it is sold to help provide the money to put him into a nursing home or assisted living, but after that you will be gone.
Since you're working, you should be able to find an affordable apartment for yourself away from him. Do what you can to get him where he needs to be first, but buck up and take responsibility for getting yourself out of this situation.
At any rate, try to get an attorney's advice asap....Get your life back!