The news she needs help did not bode well for either of us - more like blindsided, but I understand dr had to deliver news. I'm only sibling. Suspected dementia. Advice please on how to approach her for that info? I suspect she won't offer it and likely be upset and cut off communication - need to keep those lines open! Just discovered home in unbelievable disarray, can't manage medication correctly, etc., and won't take kindly to thought of having to move or me rummaging in her affairs. She's mentioned moving several times - we agreed, but she took no action - I now realize she cannot fathom a decision like that, values her independence (I get that). Attorney said a trust is in place but need to determine her financial situation FIRST before I/he can see what is available for care. I borrowed excellent book - The 36 hour day. What an eye opener! As you might guess - she doesn't think there is a problem. MRI has been scheduled.
He fought us over a POA, but we took him for his periodic meeting with his financial advisor who brought it up and he was all onboard, and they wrote it up right there that day. That was a godsend for us. Maybe there is someone your sister trusts that she will listen to like that?
My sister was told by her Doctor she needs supervised living. She has no POA. She has refused my suggestions to talk to her Doctor 'to get an emergency plan'. IE start discussions on her wishes, POA etc. I talked to her Doctor as best I could (with no MedPOA). Doctor said Sister lacks insight. To do nothing to prop up her living (enabling) if she cannot manage. Don't even buy her milk was what she said! Tell Sister if she has any problems to go to her Doctor. They have Social Worker service to help her, Psychcologist to support her, contacts to arrange emergency Guardianship if required.
My Sister's wishes are to live at home for as long as she can. I got that message loud & clear. So she will. Until she can't. Then, due to her inability to plan, either she makes a POA if legally able to or 'the system' will take over.
If you tread lightly & have luck on your side, hopefully you may turn the wheels in the direction you need to & keep your relationship good.
If you are her financial PoA it may be more expedient to have a family member or friend to take your sister out of the house for "errands" or a walk or a drive while you look for what you need. You may want to consider a geriatric advisor to help guide you and maybe be a neutral voice your sister may be comfortable with. I wish you much success in helping your sister and peace in your heart.
I have a situation with my mother and a late friend. My mother is mentioned in the will along with countless others. This is not a large estate but a very unrealistic one made more complicated by all those mentioned who are gradually dying as this has taken so much time. The little family there was were all alienated from this friend. I sent my POA documents as I have them. I doubt I may see anything for my mother but I stay in touch as she could not mentally take this on. I speak very politely every few months I reach out to the lawyer handling the will. He has seem to grow warmer to me for whatever that is worth. I hope you can tell both medical and legal representation that you want to help but need information in order to be involved.