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I have really been observing Dad the last couple of days. A lot more than usual. He used to sleep about 15 hours a day and now I noticed the last couple of days he eats and watches little TV and then goes right back to bed. He is starting to look really worn out and tired. Earlier he went to the bathroom and was gone for a long time. I went to check on him and ask if he was alright and he just snapped at me especially when I opened the door because he wouldn't respond to me. He was sitting on the top of the toilet seat cover and looked as though he was too weak to get up from there. Now he is starting to look like a bum and not trying to do anything with his personal hygiene right now. He won't even listen and stares right past me and he will not accept help from me. He just says he will get around to it. The sugar eating has slowed a lot and the meals I give him he eats but acts like he doesn't want it. He has started drinking more water but it isn't improving his urine. It is still very bad but I don't hear him complain about having to go urinate a lot like he was. Whichever illness this is that is destroying him is progressing fast.

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Angel, it sounds like your dad is far beyond your ability to care for him at home. The next time he falls call 911 and take him to the hospital. Medicare will cover most of the expense, though the ambulance can be rather pricey even after insurance. It sounds like your dad seriously needs a skilled nursing facility. If you cannot lift or transport him, this is too much for you.
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Oh gosh! I do understand your frustration. The urine thing sounds like a urinary tract infection definitely. That can be painful or sometimes not in the elderly. Mentally a UTI can really knock them for a loop. That kind of sounds like what your dad is going through. A UTI is something he should be checked for, but if he's like my mom, nothing happening.

My mom's in intractable back pain for two weeks. Had her to the ER and then a doctor. None of the treatments have worked. She needs to go to a hospital and get a full workup. She adamantly refuses.

It's torture for us when they leave us in the 'not knowing land' due to their own stubborness. It's selfish of them. Wanted my mom to go in today when my husband had time off. She refused. I fully expect her to ruin the New Year's Day. Probably will be in the ER.

I think she is dying of colon cancer and melanoma. She claims no bowel movement in a week or more. No doc, so I can only guess.
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Angel, your father has dementia, right? Dementia is a progressive, fatal disease.

Have you discussed his behavior and symptoms with his PCP and/or the doctor who is following his dementia? It would be good to find out if there is anything going on that could be improved by treatment. I'd start there.

People with dementia decline -- they get worse -- and eventually they die. Perhaps what you are observing is decline.

I wonder if this would be a good time to consider a hospice evaluation. If it isn't appropriate at this time, it will be in the future, and starting by setting up a contact now might be a good move.

I am sorry.
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Dark urine would make me wonder if there was some liver disease or failure. This could cause mental problems that mimic dementia. If there was liver trouble, the toxins and metabolites can build in the blood and affect all organs, including the brain. I do hope you can get him to the hospital soon for both his sake and yours. What I wish most is that you could get him to go to a doctor to have blood work done. If it is liver, it could be reversible. If it isn't liver, then maybe they could find out what it is.
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Here are early symptoms of diabetes:
being very thirsty
frequent urination
weight loss
increased hunger
blurry vision
irritability
tingling or numbness in the hands or feet
frequent skin, bladder or gum infections
wounds that don't heal
extreme unexplained fatigue

You could check his blood sugar level at home, if you care to buy an inexpensive tester.

But what if you find out he has diabetes? Or liver problems? Or cancer? Or a UTI? If he refuses treatment then knowing what he has might not be so helpful.

Has hospice stopped coming because he rejects them?
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Yes. He rejects hospice. He has a mind set that doctors and medicines kill people. He has also been a very stubborn man most of his life. I have tested his blood sugar. I have a meter here from where Mom was a diabetic. The readings are ranging from 135-145. He does tend to grab the sugary snacks at night and early mornings though. Even if he refuses to have care for his illnesses at least I would have some info to know ..for me it is living day to day in the darkness with him and apparently he doesn't care to know but at least I would have some idea what to expect. He has been saying for 2 years now he wants to die.. That tells me his quality of life is no longer existant.
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Angel, when are you taking those blood sugar readings? First thing in the morning? Right after eating? A couple of hours after eating?
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angel16, Call 911 'non emergent'. I think the cost is a little less I think and no fire trucks and sheriffs with all their lights. I had to do that with my mom last week. They were great people, the EMT folks. All my best to you! This is so hard!
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He needs to be followed up with a A1C blood test for diabetes ...it will show his blood sugars for the last 3 months ..I pray,he feels better soon , please keep,us posted
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angel16, I think your best course of action is to wait for an emergency and let the EMTs get him to the hospital.

Meanwhile, I think I'd drop taking his glucose readings. What you are getting is consistently high for a person who doesn't have diabetes. Not in a danger range, but not "normal." But the reading is only useful if you are going to do something about it. I take my reading 3 or 4 times a day because that tells me how much insulin to take. It may be useful to take a reading multiple times a day a week or two before seeing a doctor, for the doctor to see a pattern. But just taking the reading and doing nothing about it is like taking your temperature several times a day with no plan to do anything different based on the numbers.

Taking a blood glucose reading is not curative. In its self, it in no way improves the person's health. Since your stubborn dad is so resistant to your efforts to care for him, perhaps giving this action up would make him feel good.
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