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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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If you both are embarrassed about it, I would say maybe he needs a male figure to stand in there and help him...if that can't be arranged, then you should invest in a removeable shower head, one that you can take off the bracket and hand it to him to shower himself in the embarrassing areas. If he is capable of scrubbing his privates with the washrag, allow him to do that even if it takes longer. By letting him scrub and rinse his private areas, his dignity of showering himself will be be intact. Get a terry cloth robe to put on him as you get him out of the shower, it not only soaks up the water on his body, but it is also warm and soft.
i was going thru the same thing . for a while my grandaughter would give him a shower cuz shes a cna . after awhile i join in to give her helping hand then from there i just took over ., it did bothered my dad and i told him i have to do it or it ll get sore if i dont put meds on it . grandaughter cant come verytime . now i do it all and i dont think of it as embarrisment , i think of it as a job that needs to be done . just doit and be quick about it .
I felt exactly the way you did,whenI started having to take care of my dad as far as the bathing and bathroom issues. He had so many scarrs from WW2,I never saw him ever without a shirt,even swimmimg and then KaBoom,I was having to see things I did not feel I should be seeing,as a daughter.At first,I protested,,cried etc.felt as though since I had 2 brothers they should be doing those things.They were pretty useless,got a woman to come in from Home health,she was there3 times a week. Daddy said she could rubb the hide off a mule,so as someone else said I jumped into caregiver mode,thats when I knew no one on the face of the earth could do as good as job as me,cause I Loved him the most.Instead of being embarressed I felt very good knowing if the tables were turned he would be there for me also.We had that kind of relationship.You do what you have to do when you need to do it for the ones you love.God presents us with opportunities to see what we're made of,It's your choice if you take it or not.
Hi, My father lives with me and has severe hearing loss(he can't understand what most Dr. are saying..but does not have any mental disabilities) and has been batteling bladder tumors (cancerous) for 7 years. At first I would leave the room or turn away but as the conditions worsened and he had to learn to self cath (with my assistance) I had a conversation with him. I am his nurse now and it is no different from any other body part, we need to take care of all body needs. Also when he goes to a hospital a nurse must check and care for him, this allows him to be home and we are adults now and I will do whatever it takes to keep him healthy. This conversation has made all the difference in the world. Actually, when I got through my personal inhibitions and moved into the caregiver mode of what was needed, I don't even think about it. I am careful to be as private and all him dignity.
Some people are better than others at this but try to act like it''s no big deal and let him feel like it's no big deal. Most of us had your parents take care of us when we were small your just completing the circle. Try to wash one body part at a time and keep the rest covered. Try to get as much as help as possible. If you can take care of your parent or parents it can be rough at times but there are rewards you well see. I do this 24-7 with my mom with some help from family but it's worht it.
Sometimes just letting someone know that you understand that they're feeling embarrassed helps. When doing the bathing, it helps to talk, sing, whatever, to take their mind off of what is being done.
A wonderful CNA who helped my Dad showed me how to wash him without him being embarrassed. She simply swtarted a conversation with him before she started washing and kept looking him in the face all the time, breifly glancing where she was washing. He would be preoccupied with what she was saying and not be uncomfortable at all. Try this technique on other body parts and you will btoh get used to it, them move on to more sensitive areas. It worked for me.
Dear ksue5036, changing your mom's diaper, washing her bottom and feeding her IS normal in our culture if you are her caregiver. When I was a young girl, my mother was doing this for my granny. In a different culture, if your mom was unable to look after herself, she might just be led out into a wilderness and left to die or she might just be allowed to starve to death etc. Our culture chooses not to do this type of thing and instead we either become caregivers ourselves or pay people/institutions to provide care. If a person lives long enough, it usually is normal to require someone to change one's diaper, to do the spoon feeding, to wash one's body (including the "private parts") etc. This is what most of us will need before the end IF we live long enough. This is what is normal in our culture at the present time. As there become more and more elderly for society to care for in the years to come, this may not be the case. Who knows what will be normal then.
This is probably a REALLY crazy idea and I have never had to try it yet but... Could you re-name the body parts? For instance, could his nose be named his penis, and his penis be named his nose; his butt could be his ears, and his ears his butt. This would make more of a joke of things and you both might become more relaxed. Or you might give his body parts new names altogether. Maybe his butt could be twins, Tom and Jerry; his testicles, Mutt and Jeff etc. or use some names that fit with the type of job he worked at when he was employed. If he was an accountant, for instance, his testicles could be "debit" and "credit" or whatever. Doing this type of thing might help you both relax a bit and turn wash time into joke time. Or is this just TOO crazy?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
it did bothered my dad and i told him i have to do it or it ll get sore if i dont put meds on it . grandaughter cant come verytime . now i do it all and i dont think of it as embarrisment , i think of it as a job that needs to be done . just doit and be quick about it .
My father lives with me and has severe hearing loss(he can't understand what most Dr. are saying..but does not have any
mental disabilities)
and has
been batteling bladder tumors (cancerous) for 7 years. At first
I would leave the room or turn away but as the conditions worsened
and he had to learn to self cath (with my assistance) I had a conversation with him. I am his nurse now and it is no different from any other body part, we need to take care of all body needs. Also when he
goes to a hospital a nurse must check and care for him, this allows
him to be home and we are adults now and I will do whatever it takes
to keep him healthy. This conversation has made all the difference in
the world. Actually, when I got through my personal inhibitions and
moved into the caregiver mode of what was needed, I don't even think
about it. I am careful to be as private and all him dignity.
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