I have a good f/t job for 15 years, my husband does construction which is intermittent...he has 2 jobs to do which are literally 5 minutes away from home..Mom moved in with us 6 weeks ago.and she outright refuses to stay home alone....so my husband can't do these jobs unless he does them on Sat or Sun which isn't always possible. Is it wrong for my mom to help with her social security check to help pay my bills since hubby doesn't have a stead income because he's her primary caregiver when I'm at work? My siblings have made me feel guilty...and all they care about is their inheritance..we're talking maybe $5000 each....they're giving me a hard time...and constantly telling my mother that I'm using her money inappropriately.
Your siblings sound like mine.
I hope you did gain something.
Tell your siblings where to go !! I told mine-just don't know if they got there yet--seems they don't wish to talk to me anymore.
We caregivers seem to always get the s--t end of the stick.
Don't let them get you down.
Do you have POA?
Lisaalexis, your mom is quite elderly and has limited funds left for her care. I think in NY they have community medicaid which will entitle you in in-home health care if she qualifies and needs it (but her money needs to be gone). Check with their offices, I think the look-back period for community medicaid is relatively short - less than 6 months. The in-home health care would free your husband up to do his work. What my family doesn't seem to understand is the long-term financial impact on ME - I can't work, so hence no contributions to social security, which will limit my benefits when I am eligible. This has nothing to do with mom's money, but everything to do with mine. You need some legal advice - see an eldercare attorney and make some things legal to protect yourself.
You need to take care of you and your marriage in seeking to being a good caregiver for your mother.
One more thing, has she been evaluated by a doctor concerning her level of mental competency?
If your siblings don't like the fact that you're getting a little money from your Mom, tell THEM to take her in. It's a labor of love & it's damn hard!!!
Remember - NO GUILT!!!!!!!!!!
He who lives by the sword?gun dies by the sword/gun
He who lives with his heart?Lives with his heart.
Do what you have to do to take care of your mother and don't worry about the siblings. At some point this may become too much for you or for her level of health care needs. At that time, a nursing home may have to be an option. If the siblings will not help and she does not have any resources, then she may have to go on medicade to pay for her care.
Wouldn't it be nice if there was some sort of disinterested third=party who could listen to all sides, look at the receipts and see the exact situations and then decide what to do? They're called "judges", as in "courts".