Especially over the holidays, my mother wants more and more of my time and attention when I give my attention to my daughter. She is home from school for only a brief time and this is the only vacation she will get. I want her to enjoy her break, but mom is always asking for something and complaining that my daughter does not do more chores. She's here for a break! Meanwhle, mom has me as her caregiver all the time, except when I'm at work or once in a while when I get a sitter because I will collapse from physical and mental exhaustion. Thanks!
Holidays are rather hard on older people. They are used to being the matriarchs and patriarchs of events. Roles change, but they are hard to set aside as capabilities change. I can sympathize with everyone involved, but know it is how it needs to be.
I've decided to ignore the guilt. I'm being patient with her when I enjoy time with my daughter and she calls for me and all she wants to do is talk about her aches and poops. She is adjusting to not being in charge any more, and she doesn't like it, but that's how it has to be. My daughter will never be allowed to be a caregiver. Ever.