I'M NEW 5 YEARS AGO MY STEP DAD DIED VERY FAST FROM CANCER. I WHATCHED AS MY MOM 71 AT THE TIME JUST STEP BACK AND LET ME TAKE OVER. WE TOOK HER TO HER DR , AND LOTS OF TEST. SHE HAD WHAT THEY CALLED STRESS DEMENTIA. I'M HER CAREGIVER, HER DAUGHTER 46 YREARS OLD. I HAVE A HUSBAND, A 26 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND A 3 YEAR OLD GRANDSON. BY THE WAY I ALSO HAVE 2 OLDER SISTERS THAT MOVED AWAY BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO DO ANY OF THIS, YOU KNOW THEY CALL HER HI HOW ARE YOU TODAY, OK BYE, OF COURE LOVE YOU MOM....EVERYDAY SEEMS DIFFERENT FOR HER AND ME. SHE CAN MAKE OR BREAK MY DAY. AND WHEN SHE IS UPSET BY SOMETHING, I'M HER MOMMY AND SHE WANTS TO TALK TO ONLY ME. IM ANGRY, HURT, I FEEL ALONE. IT SEEMS I CRY AT A DROP OF A HAT, MY PORE LOVING HUSBAND DOES NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. MY MOM STILL LIVES ALONE, AND FOR THE MOST PART IS STILL DOING FARLY WELL. I'M OUT OF WORK RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF A BAD BACK, BUT I CANT WAIT TO GO BACK JUST TO HAVE TIME WERE I'M NOT THINKING WHAT IT SHE DOING, AND FEELING GILTY ABOUT EVERYTHING. I READ THAT SOMETIMES OTHERS IN MY PLACE SAY, I WISH SHE WOULD JUST GO TO SLEEP AND NOT WAKE UP. I DO THAT, GOD HELP ME BUT THAT IS HOW I FEEL. SHE IS NOT MY MOM ANYMORE, WE CANT LAUGH, GO SHOPPING, HAVE A GLASS OF WINE TOGETHER, GO TO DINNER.. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE THAT ANYMORE. AND I KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT THE END, BUT THE BEGINING FOR ME...
Most people that have siblings do it all themselves, How is her attitude, is she mean?
Is she on alot of meds? Describe more to us, why you can't do the things you mentioned. Someone is always here to help in someway or to just hear you vent. Take care of yourself, Judy
It would be great if you could find a day place for her to go to to be with others...a church group perhaps?
Do not blame yourself for her condition no matter what she says. Tell her you are proud of seeing what she can do for herself. Make a visiting plan for when you can phone her or read to her and such. Maybe three hours a week Something for her to look forward to. But don't get pulled into more than you can handle.
Good wishes to you.....Keep seeking help......
DEFINITELY LOOK INTO ASSISTED LIVING. Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't move her in. She will make your life miserable. My mom and I was best friends until she moved in with me and now I hate her guts.
Sorry to be so blunt, but learning to say what I feel, took a long time for this puppy dog girl.
Love,
Marylynne