I have been a caregiver for a elderly man for almost a year. He said he cannot afford it anymore, so he decided to pay me instead of a company. So I got my checks and cashed them and one day I get to his home and he is accusing me of stealing his checks and writing them for myself. He has said he is calling the police and I'm afraid I could be in a lot of trouble for something I would never do. I have received 4 checks from him however, it was a verbal aggreement. Which is a mistake on my part. I don't know what do to. It really comes down to a he said she said situation. Any suggestions?
If so have them write the checks.
Otherwise, document, document, document! Time sheets, corresponding to each and very check for your services, receipts if you do any reimbursed shopping for them, etc. Make copies of each check and each corresponding time sheet and create a file for your files and a copy file for the client's records.
Make sure THE CLIENT signs the checks, not the other helper.
If there are no reliable family members or legal documents drawn up, you may need to contact your county agency on aging or elder care office, since you are concerned about their abilities to manage their finances and their memory of what they have requested, and what they have paid for. .
Definitely consult an attorney , not only to protect yourself, and other workers, but to protect your client.
Not everyone is as honest as you are, and the next aide they hire could do a lot of damage with access to their check book and finances.
It is a tricky tightrope to walk because you want to protect them and their assets, but if you need to ask a family member or someone else to get involved or oversee their finances, your client will probably be very very upset with you. But having them upset with you is better than having a family member or someone else enter the picture months from now and accuse you of possibly ripping them off financially.
Kudos to you for your integrity!
Look, there's a problem here, and you realize it. That's half the battle. Just don't let it go - do something proactive to try and fix and/or halt the damage being done. It's obvious you can't continue working for this man - if there's one thing that's true about dementia, it's that they sometimes fixate on a problem and it plays on a loop in their head - so they never forget it and harp on it for a very long time - so this is going to be a problem for him (and you, if you stay) - long after it's been resolved. Even if there was no wrongdoing involved, he thinks there is, and that's what he's going to fixate on. It's not a healthy working environment for you, and exposes you to legal trouble as well.
I can only imagine the stress you're feeling right now over this, but don't just sit and let it get worse - take action on it right away so things don't get worse.
Client writing out his own checks and signing them to pay bills, including caregiving? Not a problem.
Client having legal paperwork in place assigning a POA and then that POA is accepted by the bank and writes out/signs checks on the client's behalf, including for caregiving? Not a problem.
Two caregivers without a legal contract in place, only a verbal agreement, with one caregiver writing out checks to the other and forging the client's name on them? HUGE problem.
I agree that dementia is an issue here, but the bigger issue is that you are not working through an agency, have no contract in place, and worst of all, one of you is forging this man's signature on his checks. In his demented state, he has every reason to be upset, because his mind no longer allows him to remember any agreement you two made with him - he only sees that someone else is writing and signing checks and in his mind, that means theft.
Look at this through the eyes of someone from the outside of the situation - it looks very bad, even if there was no ill intent and you had his best interests in mind.
Step 1: Talk to the family and explain the situation truthfully and have a representative of the family go over the bank account to prove there was no wrongdoing.
Step 2: If the family accuses you of stealing, get yourself an attorney, because you're going to need it. (Not trying to scare you here, just stating facts.)
Step 3: Leave that job and never put yourself or anyone else in this position again - ever. If you come out of this without charges being filed against you (even if they're unfounded), count your blessings and move on. Find another line of work or go through an agency. Never work without a contract in place or an agency that can look out for you.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but this is not a good situation and some harsh truths need to be faced here.
Can you talk to a member of the family and bring copies of the cancelled checks with you? A forward approach (rather than simply slinking away) is best. Likely the family is aware of their parent's situation. Tell them exactly what transpired and be honest. Hopefully, they'll understand and step in.
I would also then quit the job, nobody needs the stress of this. There's too many fingers in the pie right now.....probably this man shouldn't be writing checks or handling his own finances anymore.
I think your problem is that you have not found allies, people that you know, who know the man, know he asked you to work for him, people who know that you worked to help him and that was a positive arrangement.
As 97yearoldmom suggests, you should consider if there are family members you can tell, that you thought you were being helpful and making a good arrangement for both of you, but he has now forgotten. I suggest you look around, make a list of witnesses and allies about how helpful your work has been to him: consider a neighbor of his, a cleaning lady, some family member or even a store clerk - people around you who have noticed you working to help him over the year.
Make some contact with them. Also, contact a local Council on Aging or a Geriatric Care Manager - find someone who works in Elder care, who knows how they can often agree to one thing, but if they have even early dementia - they will change what they said. You should talk with some outside party, not officially, but just to have a witness, beyond the other worker - she needs a witness too. If she still works there, or if you do, wait for some good moments with him, and use that time to have your witness draw up an informal contract, maybe someone in his family would sign something saying they are glad you are helping him.
Also, if you stop going, because you say you don't know how you will be paid, that will get family quickly on your side for they will suddenly be stuck with the job of finding someone to help him on Mondays... and if your work has generally been helpful so far, they will help by agreeing that you are in a positive work agreement, and make a plan to see that you are paid, maybe they could arrange payments, if he has become forgetful.
I learned the fickleness and accusations when working in homes, for an agency. I helped a woman declutter her super-packed kitchen, working with her for hours, gained her trust and worked with her to finally sort and throw out stuff. 10 cans of half eaten cat food lined up on the floor... no room to walk, bags of newspapers.
At the end of a hard work day, I didn't know what to suggest she do with a water filter she said was a gift that she didn't want and it was never used.
I asked her wish, and she said, "you take it, you can use it". I said OK, and took it, more to help her empty the kitchen than for myself, for I never used it either (it cluttered up my kitchen, until a year later!)
But the next week I took a week off to travel, and when I returned, she did not remember anything about me, would not let me in, had told everyone I was a thief who stole a water filter she had received as a gift!
Thankfully, most elder-care agencies and even elder lawyers - are used to such mood swings and forgetfulness, and suspiciousness. They deal with it often, so they will understand and help you get past this event.
My company understood my difficulty, and helped me move past it, just by the fact that they trusted me and recognized from my story that I had not intended any fraud. AND by now you are well warned - don't set up any such arrangement again, without corroboration of some trusted outside party!
It does not get better,They -in their mind is that everyone is stealing from them.If he was confronted
His story would change daily. They go through many changes-- they sometimes think there is someone in their bedroom & they have had the person arrested.
Or someone is looking in the window.My sister went through many changes .She called on a Fri crying & telling me herbrother inlaw & girlfriend ere trying to steel her good set of dishes & were taking tools from the shed - her hubby had passed away & she rally sounded convincing. I later in the day phoned & said I was co I got out to have a chat with her & the brother in-law- sheasked why??When I reminded her that she phoned crying & said her in- law was taking things of her hubby's she said-- quote- I DID NOT!! It does not get better believe me!!!Phone in sick & don't go back.
I would seek advice from a lawyer & if anything comes about the lawyer can request to see the cashed checks from the bank for the last 12 months.
Good Luck to you.
I am curious as you had mentioned that you worked for an Agency and most recently your Client is now paying you.... usually with most caregiver companies, a caregiver cannot work personally for a Client until after a set time, like 6 months to one year after leaving the Agency, depending on their rules. Otherwise your Client would have to pay a "finders fee" of a set amount. The company my Dad used the finder fee was $10k.
Who is "the other girl who is there"?
What about the elderly gentleman's wife? - is she receiving care too?
Were you originally working through the agency, then agreed later to this private arrangement?
The part about the checks, I agree with Rainmom, is your main trouble. Did the other caregiver tell you, and you believed her, that she had your client's permission to write checks for him? Is your client also accusing her of stealing from him?
Forgery is a really serious crime. It does sound as if you may have been party to it; but it is possible that you are an innocent party. The silver lining is that because you were paid by check there is a clear record of how much money has passed through your hands. You should also be able to present a record of how much work you have been doing over the last twelve months; so if you've received roughly what would be expected for the work done, this will help you to show that you haven't been - well, stealing.
The gentleman agrees that he did pay you back for money you spent for him. This is very important: it shows that he was aware that you were running errands for him and that he was happy for you to do that and, above all, that he *expected* you to be paid. He can't, for example, have thought you were just a friendly helpful neighbour - not over that length of time. And more importantly, since he wanted you to be reimbursed - how did he think that was being done? Was he in fact aware, had he given his permission, for the other caregiver to use his check book?
I'd like you to think about going to the police or APS yourself. If there is a free legal advice centre or a pro bono law office near you, go there first and take advice; but I do honestly think your best way out of this mess is to report it.
This couple does need care. They have been using and paying for care services. The husband is now very upset and angry about misdeeds that do seem to have gone on, which you were aware of but not actively party to. If you blow the whistle it will prevent any further abuses and alert APS to their risky living situation.
A co-worker writes you a check - more than one, actually - on the clients account and then forge his signature. Seriously?
I'm sorry that I can't be more supportive or give positive suggestions but the fact that it didn't occur to either you or your co-worker that at most this is a crime and at the least is unethical - well, it's mind boggling to me.
Are you still working for the agency? I guess it's besides the point but didn't you and/or the client sign an agreement with the agency that no private pay agreement could be entered into? That seems to be a standard practice within the professional caregiving agency's -
Regardless- I'm a bit at a loss as to any suggestions. The only one that occurs to me is to try to have a calm discussion with the gentleman - tell him there must have been a misunderstanding, and ask him what you need to do to make things right between you again. If he says to pay back the money - I'd suggest you figure out a way to do it. And, hope like h*ll he doesn't call the police, APS, his Bank or his children.