My elderly Mom used to be more engaged but this last year she spends more and more time in bed and nothing else. I have talked with the doctor and psychiatrist. She says she is not depressed, just not feeling well. I am sympathetic as she is almost 89, but seeing her in bed all the time in the small place we share is depressing me. Can anyone suggest anything? Other than moving out to another place I find I cannot change her behavior. Maybe only how I react to it. I don't know what 88 is like. If you are taking care of someone with a similar situation, please let me know. Thank you..
Sometimes we have expectations that simply are not possible to meet with our elders. I'd make sure she's hydrated, fed healthy food choices and bathed regularly and if she chooses to sleep the rest of the time, who is she hurting?
At 89 my father was wishing he'd died already. He felt old, tired and useless - especially as the falls and dementia were taking over his life. Dad's loss of independence took a big toll on him. He lived until 91 but did less and less - he lived and slept in his recliner - he even died in that recliner. Yes he was depressed but for him it was more being tired of life and waiting for death to visit him. He constantly asked why he wouldn't die - he was afraid his heart wouldn't stop; he was afraid God had forgotten about him. At one point I told him that maybe he hadn't finished his work on this earth.
On the other hand, mom turned 88 this year and is doing well - I actually moved her last week from AL back to IL - she was in AL because dad had needed it. The first year after dad's death she didn't want to move - but after being in lock down for the past year and the decline in the facility she lived in all of a sudden she couldn't wait to move. Mom just continues to plug along.
I wish you luck.
He wakes up at 7am and does not lay down again until 10pm. Medicine to relax him didn’t help.
He is in full dementia swing all day long.
I guess what I’m saying is no matter how it plays out, dementia is hard on everyone.
After doctor appointments, she was wiped out! At one time we would enjoy stopping somewhere for lunch afterwards.but that changed and she was ready to go home to relax in her chair again.
It’s tiring for caregivers because I always felt as if I was living the same life as my mom. It’s hard for a younger caregiver to remain so sedentary. I would ride my exercise bike to move for awhile. I used to go for walks but there came a time that I couldn’t leave my house, so I had to use my bike more.
You have no info at all in your profile, so it's hard to give you advice about your mom's situation. Ask her doctor what s/he thinks is the best course of action to take, if anything.
Best of luck
My sister works in a large Masonic Village community. She said the isolation caused by the Covid lockdown was apparent in residents at all levels of care.
Is it possible to take your mother to an adult daycare a day or two a week so she gets a chance to interact with others?
See All Answers