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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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mnl was in fender bender and insists it was the other driver's fault.. witnesses at the scene prove it was her fault, which we felt all along. should we correct her, or let it go. (we have since taken her keys)
Correct her how? Convince her it was her fault? No point in it if she has dementia. Just wasting your breath. But by all means, keep her out of the car.
What does the police report show? I'd look to that before listening to the other witnesses.
I also would question how you could "correct her?" Your profile indicates you're caring for someone with dementia. If this your MIL, actions arising from loss of functions due to dementia can't be corrected.
Don't chastise her; find another way to get her where she needs to go but don't make her feel any worse than she may already feel. Make trips with her a fun thing, stop for lunch afterward, go someplace she enjoys, go for walks, etc.
Agree with GA. Doesn't matter whose fault it was you have taken the appropriate action which is the important part. just make such she isn'y house bound because she can no longer drive.
If she was a teenager insisting that the accident wasn't her fault when it clearly was, correcting her might serve some purpose. It might help her learn accountability.
I see no purpose at all in trying to "correct" someone with dementia.
My mother side-swiped a eight- foot round concert pillar in her IL parking garage which was the first floor with four floors of apartments on top of it. Mom told me it wasn't her fault because "they had it moved".
Rainmom, Are you absolutely sure that the side-swiping was not done when you were being chased down in a parking garage by a sweating, red-faced security guard for taking a short-cut? Maybe it happened then-I could look it up for you-in your own words? Lol. My my, now I am having doubts.
Oh yeah, here it is, from the Caregivers Behaving Badly thread: Rainmom, just so I get the words right....
"However, I sure as hell can take it out on any poor slob in my path, on a tough day! Why, just today I gave the three fingered wave to a panting, purple faced security guard who was chasing after my car, yelling at me, in the parking garage because I took a short cut through their asinine rat maze."
If someone with dementia has a car accident, I'd be thankful no one was hurt and get the keys from her. You won't convince her of anything. Allowing further driving is very risky. Those responsible for her need to take charge. If she continues and hurts someone, those responsible for her are on notice.
1. Has your m-n-l been determined to have dementia? Have a nice talk with her, express your relief about no injuries to anyone, offer alternative transportation and get the keys. 2. If she has NOT be determined to have dementia, maybe she only needs to have her eyes checked and a cognitive check. 3. If she is perfectly in control of reality otherwise, it would be cruel to take her car from her. Just as it would be if your car were taken in a similar situation.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I also would question how you could "correct her?" Your profile indicates you're caring for someone with dementia. If this your MIL, actions arising from loss of functions due to dementia can't be corrected.
Don't chastise her; find another way to get her where she needs to go but don't make her feel any worse than she may already feel. Make trips with her a fun thing, stop for lunch afterward, go someplace she enjoys, go for walks, etc.
I see no purpose at all in trying to "correct" someone with dementia.
Rainmom, just so I get the words right....
"However, I sure as hell can take it out on any poor slob in my path, on a tough day! Why, just today I gave the three fingered wave to a panting, purple faced security guard who was chasing after my car, yelling at me, in the parking garage because I took a short cut through their asinine rat maze."
2. If she has NOT be determined to have dementia, maybe she only needs to have her eyes checked and a cognitive check.
3. If she is perfectly in control of reality otherwise, it would be cruel to take her car from her. Just as it would be if your car were taken in a similar situation.