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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She is as sharp as a tac, her doctor says she isn't even close to signs of dementia or alzheimers. She repeats the same stories and dominates the conversation with whoever she's with.
When mom phones me I always start with "I've only got ___ minutes before little Rainman gets home." When it's time to wrap it up "Rainmans coming up the walk. I'll talk to you later."
Thank you for the responses....My Mother has always been a talker.. I remember years ago my deceased father always nipping it int he bud with her. This is out of control now. She is lonely and grabs every person she meets at the grocery, bank, restaurant, whatever....and monopolizes their time. I've read that old people tend to do this, it's actually a neurelogical thing from age, but in this case I feel it's more than that. She has all of her faculties and is amazing in so many ways. I call her everyday and every day is at least one hour on the phone. I tell her I have to go and she ignores me and keeps talking..sometimes I have to say it 3 or 4 times. I don't get more in than a word or two, and don't want to because it sets her off on another tangent of something else to talk about I've gotten to the point where I time her talking and she will go on for 20-20 minutes before I even say one word. ...I've gotten so resentful that it's ruining our relationship. I've tried to be patient, and am patient, but it's not enough. She isn't demanding or rude, she just loves to hear herself talk. Or....feels there can never be silence in any given situation. All family members are in agreement with this, avoiding her now, friends are avoiding her, because all she does is talk!! I know if it were the other way around, (she couldn't talk due to illness or whatever) I would be devastated, but there is no reprieve and I'm past the boiling point. I tell her she repeats and that I've heard the story before and she goes off on me. She cries, or yells ....claims she doesn't remember, but many times will say I know I've told you this before, but I'm going to tel you anyway! If anyone has any experience with this I would love to hear you share how you deal with it....I'm going cray- cray!!! Thanks! Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Cutting her off in mid sentence isn't going to help unless you first have a calm and rational discussion with her about it. Tell her you want to discuss something important, sit her down and tell her the constant chatter has got to stop. Let her know that you will be happy listen to her stories, but only up to a point, and that if it is too much you will end the conversation. My sister sometimes does this, and I usually listen (thank god for speaker phones) but sometimes I have to say "OK, I've heard enough now" and change the subject or end the conversation.
Part of the problem may be that she is alone too much, I have caught myself spewing too much to anyone handy when I finally get out of the house among friends.
I would take her for an evaluation by a neurologiist or neuro-psycologist. Incessant talking and repeating could very well be sign of dementia. Think of it as second opinion. These specialists may recommend a medication to calm her.
You need to learn how to end a conversation. It sounds like when you are trying to wrap it up you are waiting for her to pick up on your cue and start wrapping it up too. You can say something like "Okay, Mom, I've got another call coming in/I've got a pie in the oven/the UPS guy is here/I've got to wash my hair. Talk to you tomorrow".....and CLICK hang up the phone. If she calls back, let it go to voicemail.
Get your information out at the beginning of the phone call. Use index cards and steer the conversation until you're done. Learn to say "Mom, please let me finish" if she interrupts you.
I think one hour each day is part of the reason you are on edge. Sounds like 20 minutes will get you through one full round of her rambling. Set a kitchen timer and let her ramble. Put on a headset and do something productive like going through the junk mail, dusting, or pouring yourself a glass of red wine. When the timer rings, commit to winding up the conversation and hanging up the phone. And if she calls back, just let it go to voicemail.
That would drive me crazy. If nothing is wrong with her mentally, maybe you can just tell her that it would be nice to let other people talk some, too??
I'm also guilty of telling the same stories over again. I'm 63 now. I don't like to think about what I'll be like if I live to 83. Probably anyone around me will be rolling their eyes when I tell my stories for the hundredth time.
Has she always been that way? My father would tell the same stories over and over ever since I was a little girl. Daddy was a Scot and no one can tell a story like a Scotsman in my opinion so I loved hearing them. But he was never rude or overbearing either. My mom on the other hand now complains incessantly, rarely letting anyone else talk and if someone tries to lighten up the conversation or change the subject she gets pissy and just starts back complaining where she left off. When she was in AL and first widowed many of the other widows tried to be friendly, invite her to join them in the dining room etc but they soon started to avoid her and she got a reputation. I felt both sad and embarrassed for her but as much as I tried to bring this excessive complaining to her attention and explain how it effected others - she would just slip deeper into a pity party. Maybe you would have better luck than I, have you tried bringing it to her attention?
I would be grateful if it isn't dementia. In the early stage my loved one did the same thing. She told the same stories over and over. Even if I stopped her and told that she had told me that story at least 25 times, she would keep talking and tell me again. She would constantly interrupt and I could not get a word in edgewise. It turned out to be dementia.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Part of the problem may be that she is alone too much, I have caught myself spewing too much to anyone handy when I finally get out of the house among friends.
Get your information out at the beginning of the phone call. Use index cards and steer the conversation until you're done. Learn to say "Mom, please let me finish" if she interrupts you.
I think one hour each day is part of the reason you are on edge. Sounds like 20 minutes will get you through one full round of her rambling. Set a kitchen timer and let her ramble. Put on a headset and do something productive like going through the junk mail, dusting, or pouring yourself a glass of red wine. When the timer rings, commit to winding up the conversation and hanging up the phone. And if she calls back, just let it go to voicemail.
I'm also guilty of telling the same stories over again. I'm 63 now. I don't like to think about what I'll be like if I live to 83. Probably anyone around me will be rolling their eyes when I tell my stories for the hundredth time.